Originally Posted By Goofyernmost Message to Trixie Flitter: This is Goof’s Mom. I sent him out to the barn to do some clean-up so I could have the chance to look over all these high falutin, e-lectronic notes that he is saying are being bantered about. To begin with some positive things have come from your rekindled romance with my young son. He finally remembered to let me out of the closet which was nice, it was getting cramped in there. He also has seemed, at least temporarily, to have stopped being quite so “friendly” with the farm animals. Especially with “Gert” our prize Ewe that he had taken to callin sweet cheeks or something close to that. I know that they are practically family, but there had orta be a limit to how close a family should be, don’t you think? Anyway, after your last, gut wrenching, break-up with him, he was so depressed for such a long time. Good gracious, it was so bad that he was sober for almost a week. We were starting to worry about him. As you might expect he had put out a lot of money for the wedding. The alterations on the overalls alone, set him back almost $6.00. The T-shirt was $3.50 and the black socks, well he had to buy them retail. Did you know you can’t buy just one pair? That worked out alright though because, it turns out, if you wear them inside out every other day, it takes almost a week before they stiffin up to much to put on unless you soak them in bacon fat. Speakin of stiffin up…if’n you do go ahead with the weddin this time, we will need to have a little more time to get it ready. Since the recession the traffic on our road has been much less frequent. Quality road kill is a lot harder to find and we want only the best for our little Goof and his woman, Dixie! I don’t think that the fountain idea with a garden hose will work because the homemade stuff that we are planning to use in it will eat through the hose quicker than a mouse through cheddar. I noticed that you seemed pretty excited about the possibility of registering at some o them high end departmentalized stores. I am hoping that you are not just a looking for a sugar daddy just because my boy is a business wizard and already owns himself a near fortune in the form of 3 cows, 4 pigs, 5 hens and a rooster. Many a young lady is a hungering to get their hands on that kind of windfall. Just this morning he was talkin about cleaning out the tool shed to make it a “private” getaway for he and the little misses. A day at the Dollar store could go a long ways to make the place a real nice home for you two. It is also the closest building to the outhouse…so how can a girl go wrong? OK, that’s all I have to say for now, but I do want you to know just how much you practically kilt him last time and I guess by your renewed interest in the stud muffin that is my son, that you have taken the time to learn how to change my depends. Looking forward to having another daughter. Love, soon to be yo momma!
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS <----runs off to also register the happy couple at Bob's Barn O' Plenty.
Originally Posted By TXDISNEYNERD I'm going to crash this wedding too. It looks like quite an affair. I know I don't know Ms Glitter, but I do want to offer myself up as Maid of Honor. Now I know usually that is held by your closest friends, but I really have a good track record so I wanted to offer up my services. I have been in four weddings in my life. In one I was the bride and the other three I was the maid of honor. All of the weddings I have been in are still going strong with them all being 13+ years. Now if you have your wedding party all complete and you are sure you don't need help in that area, I volunteer to make the wedding cake. I'm addicted to Food Network and all the cake making shows so I have seen some great ideas. How hard can it be?
Originally Posted By mickeymeg " Please tell me that means that slip N slide isn't just to mark the happy couple's walk down the aisle!!" This would make a great wedding entrance ! can you imagine all the U-tube videos =) And what fun it would be. At the end everyone could throw water balloons instead of rice =)
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS TX, do you know how to make the cake in the shape of an outhouse? All purdy with petunia decorations and such?
Originally Posted By TXDISNEYNERD <TX, do you know how to make the cake in the shape of an outhouse? All purdy with petunia decorations and such?> I'm sure I can handle that. That sounds beeutiful! Um,if it happens to looks like crap, um that was you know, me just stretching out the outhouse theme as I'm an arteest.
Originally Posted By -em I'll be bringing the black sheep with me in the winabago course since the gas money ran out we'll be makin a grand entrance soon
Originally Posted By Tiggirl I would like to help with decorations. I've got these nice mason jars here for the moonshine! ~Beth
Originally Posted By Lisann22 You may join my team Tiggrl, I was appointed Wedding Coordinator of this affair three years ago!! Everything's a bit dust but the mason jars are a great idea. Decorate up real nice and then serve dual purpose once the destinies start any people start relieving themselves.
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS Maybe we can use Deb's dress to drain the potato chunks from the almost-done-brewin' moonshine before she sanitizes completely....
Originally Posted By Tiggirl Thanks Lisann! Happy to join the team. I think if we use Deb's dress to strain the moonshine that will kill any leftover old cheese smell. Its a brilliant idea! ~Beth
Originally Posted By murfsmom I wonder if the Billy's would be willing to play at this event,I mean moonshine,roadkill and a slip and slide,how could they turn that down ?
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Oh. . . boy. I'm simply overwhelmed by all of this support. Overwhelmed. Really, really overwhelmed. In fact, I had to lie down for a few minutes after reading the message from my intended's dear mother. Anyway, I happily accept all offers of help and participation in my upcoming nuptials. Thank you ever so much, dear ladies! (and you, too, Liberty Belle) I feel a word of caution is in order, though, as everyone seems so excited. My former fiance has not actually re-popped the question, so to speak. And, more importantly, there has thus far been zero evidence that a suitably enormous and sparkly diamond ring has been purchased. For those of you who didn't witness the debacle of my first wedding plans with Goofyernmost, just let me say that there was a most unfortunate situation involving a cubic zirconium. While I am perfectly willing to throw over Mr. Glitter and/or commit bigamy to marry someone I've never met outside of LP, I do have to insist on an actual proposal and an enormous diamond ring. I'm a high-principled pixie, you know.
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS Don't fret, dear friend. I'm sure he's at the Piggly Wiggly as we speak gathering up them boxes of Cracker Jacks.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb >>>I think if we use Deb's dress to strain the moonshine that will kill any leftover old cheese smell.<<< It surely won't hurt! Now then, the Slip N Slide Isle... What flavor Jell-O we plannin' on usin'? The bride and groom first fell in love over cherries, but since it's red we won't know if we'll be needin' a bandaid or an ambulance when the crashin' and burnin' commences. Green might be mistaken for anything I failed to get out of my dress and we know how much the bride hates purple so lime and grape are out too. I think pineapple is what's needed here. Objections?
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS I was thinkin' orange since they've been a crushin' on each other for years, but pineapple surt'nly has a good ring to it.
Originally Posted By Ursula Box wine and LP DO NOT MIX. That's all I have to say 'bout that. Whatever flavor Jello- is used for the aisle also needs to be their hitchin' colors. The modern trend is to use three colors. I'm suggesting Orange, Pineapple Yellow, and Silver, bein' as the ring won't be actually gold.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost Pixie, my dearest. We have reached that point again that I so dreaded. The ring...I read somewhere or saw on the Jerry Springer show...that the proper engagement ring is equal to three months salary. I don't want to make the same mistake as last time so after doing some mathamatics with my cousin Elmer, my three month income is a whopping $450.00. I don't want to chose the wrong thing so it is important that you pick out your own dazzling diamond in that price range. My Uncle Clem has decided that he would lend me the money, up front, that I can repay out of the revenue from selling the eggs that my herd of chickens produce. He stated that $5.00 a month for eight years should cover it and his costs as well. He did hint that some sort of "favor" might need to be forthcoming from you as well. He didn't say what, but since we will all be family...what would the problem be? Proposal...Now we have a problem on accounta the only proposal ever used in my family was the five magic words..."YOUR GONNA HAVE A WHAT?!?!? Now that can be arranged, but I'm afraid that it will ruin one of Lizann's party games that she is planning for the shower. Do you think she can be persuaded to change it from...How many days til PG gets knocked up,to how many days has PG been knocked up? If so, then I think we can work out a deal. I also need to apologize for Mom's buttin in. She is back in the closet and will not be a problem for a while. She was correct on one point and that is the Road Kill situation here. Do you have any favorite types of meat? I want to do everything to make you happy.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb Pixie Glitter you hold onta that man of yourn as tight as you can 'cause he is a catch that one!
