Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Lisa, Riiiiiiiight. I'm going with friendofdd's explanation. Kisses, Miss Litter
Originally Posted By gaydsnywitch Dearest L & L, I have a dear friend who likes to ask questions of people on some axe murderer chat board. Today she repeated yesterday's question. How can I gently break the news to her while also warning her to beware of the axe murderers who will undoubtly seek her out for her offense? She is a very delicate creature and I don't want to frighten her. Signed, Not a badboy
Originally Posted By Ursula Dear L&L, I'm certain that a certain Pixie is certainly upset that a certain Lisa likes a certain Sea Urchin better. I mean, seriously. Have we ever heard Miss Lisa ever refer to anyone else as darling before? I think not. Miss Litter is most likely jealous. Oh, excuse me. Dorkling...? Really? And it was a typo? Indeed. Oh, my. Love, Ursula
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear not a badboy, That *is* a stumper, dear. Perhaps you could send a gently worded message on a card which is attached to a lovely bouquet. If the budget doesn't run to fresh flowers, simply have Lisa call your friend a dorkling. . . cost-free, yet effective. Good luck, dear!
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Ursula, Tsk, tsk, dear. I see that you have clearly lost all of the insight and wisdom you demonstrated during your very successful run as Lursula. Really, dear, how could you possibly think Miss Litter might be jealous of you? Think about it. . . all you have going for you is beauty, intelligence, charm, grace, and a completely fabulous handbag collection. And all that jewelry. And a job in which you hobnob with celebrities. And now, on top of everything else, you have managed to be the only human being on the face of the earth whom Lisa has called "darling". . . Now if you'll excuse me, dear, I need to go gnash my teeth, scream into my pillow, and kick my feet (delicately, of course). Ever yours, A Dejected and Greenish-tinted Miss Litter
Originally Posted By SweetGirl Dear L&L, It's me again. I need a mentor and in a hurry. Someone told me this was the place to go because one of the L's has experience in this. My boyfriend took me to my first nude beach last weekend. It was so cool (well, it was hot actually) well, it got hot because they guys, I mean it was cool that we were all free flowing and it was hot due to the weather or some thing like that. Anyway, I got really sunburnt and it blistered so badly my mama needed to take me to a doctor which meant I had to tell her what I had been doing which meant my daddy got really really mad. What is wrong with nudity? Why can't we all be more comfortable with our nakedness? I got so angry I wanted to protest naked in our front yard. It did not work cause the first day the sprinklers went on and I got soaking wet. It hurt against the sunburn, the sprinkler felt like glass on my skin. The second day I decided to avoid the sprinklers but landed in the rose bushes trying to miss the sprinklers and now I'm not 100% naked because I have a lot of bandaids where all the thorns poked wholes in my backside. The third day the sun was really bright so I slathered on a lot of suntan lotion, well I thought I did. Turned out to be my sister's last health concoction of honey/stawberry body lotion. The bees went crazy for it. Quite frankly <tears rolling down my face> I'm just a mess. I need help. I need someone to show me how to successfully protest naked? I heard that it was done effectively on LP a lot time ago. Help me! Sincerely, Barely Able
Originally Posted By smedley Dear L&L Having read the latest letter to yourself I appear to have developed a snorting disorder. Please help... Yours Smeds x x
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Barely Able, Miss Litter remembers you, dear. I do believe you were one of our earliest readers to write in. Miss Litter also remembers the lurid nature of your previous queries. So let me just set the record straight. Miss Litter is not amused. Miss Litter does not condone this sort of skan. . .er, unladylike behavior. Hypothetically speaking, if one were to launch an actual naked protest, the only circumstances under which Miss Litter could possibly approve of such an activity is if the cause being championed were something pure, and noble, and lofty. Like, for example, having one's name removed from the ballot of potential candidates for some ridiculous deep-fried sugar stick organization. Or being trapped on a theme park ride vehicle in stifling heat while wearing multiple layers of clothing THAT I DID NOT COMPLETELY REMOVE!!! Um, I mean that "one" did not completely remove. Hypothetically speaking. Furthermore, I regret to inform you, SweetGirl, that the Ol' Skunk Eye is now firmly trained on you. Disapprovingly yours, Miss Litter
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dearest Smeds, Of course you snorted over "Barely Able"'s letter. Snorted in disgust and incredulity and utter dismay that any reader could so tarnish the memory of a beloved advice columnist's selfless and patriotic sacrifice. It is a mark of your truly commendable integrity that you were so repulsed by said letter. It is readers like you, dear, who keep Miss Litter slogging along, battling endlessly against the muck and the mire and Lisann. You give me the strength to carry on, dear. Bless your pea pickin' little heart. Steadfastly and gratefully yours, Miss Litter
Originally Posted By friendofdd Being quite elderly, I sometimes have to have my memory jogged. That has happened and I am just realizing that Miss Litter and Mrs Glitter are both the person who stood in front of me in a DL boat. Wonderful memories!
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb Dear L&L, I have been living in "Man World" the last several months, 2 grown men 2 pre-adolecent boys and me. Even the cat is male! This week I find that all but one of the "Man World" residents have left town on various "Man" activities. I thought I would enjoy being free of "Man" clutter and ESPN. But find I am at loose ends without all of the testosterone induced chaos. I'm afraid if I detoxify with warm baths and other girly activities my system will suffer from testostone shock when they return next week. How do you advise I handle my time of estrogen/testosterone equilibrium without risking damage when the balance shifts again? Thanks for your wise input, Boys Interupted
Originally Posted By SuzieQ ^ hee, hee! I live in a male-dominated household, too. I know what you are talking about. Personally, I play paintball. It's great both for getting that fix, and for fixing the attitude when you are ready to scream from the overwhelming testosterone.
Originally Posted By quincytoo LOL^^^^^I live in Canada version of Man World!!! We don't have Paintball anywhere close by I like the bubblebath maybe paired with a nice glass of wine?? SuzieQ What type wine would go with a nice bubble bath?? The weather can be so hot then cold and wet ! Signed Both types of wine glasses are out
Originally Posted By sherrytodd Another victim of Man World here. Husband, son, Calvin the cat and even Bubba the fish we found out is a male. I lock myself in the bathroom. Lavender bath salts drive them away like Kryptonite.
Originally Posted By quincytoo <---- has husband, 2 sons, sick brother (leaving soon), two male cats, 1 male dog.Lots of Lavender needed here.. Bath water getting cold.....wine is ready to be poured....what color??
Originally Posted By SuzieQ "SuzieQ What type wine would go with a nice bubble bath?? The weather can be so hot then cold and wet ! " Hmm... It depends. If you are having a nice hot bubble bath with a good book, perhaps a crisp glass of Chardonnay. Looking for something a little more steamy? How about a Syrah. A little peppery Zinfandel, perhaps...
Originally Posted By quincytoo UMMMM Syrah with chocolates!!! You rock I love it when Regis and Kelly go on vacation!!! Thanks guest advisor
Originally Posted By DAR Dear L and L: I'm making linguini with shrimp tonight, what sauce would you recommend?
