Originally Posted By Lisann22 All that Glitters, Just mentally dump the Litter. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better when you just live in ignore mode. That high maintenance Diva was not worth it in the long run, cherry and all. DocLis
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter (Dear readers, I must make a brief departure from my constant, selfless advice giving for just one moment. Please do forgive this quick interruption). Goofyernmost, I am still willing to ride off into the cherry-red sunset with you if you would only arrange for someone other than me to change Mother Most's Depends. Oh, yes, and you simply must agree to wear dress socks instead of sweat socks to our wedding. This really isn't so much for me to ask when you would, in return, be receiving a blissful life of glittery ever after. Brokenheartedly but determinedly yours, Pixie
Originally Posted By FiveBearRugs In honour of Mrs. G's 3xth birthday, I have made her homemade tamales. Enjoy! Signed, ChefBearRugs
Originally Posted By Sara Tonin Dear L&L, I have an issue with relatives. Is there any fail proof way of weeding out the dead wood on one's family tree? I've tried dropping them off in trailer parks but in two or three days they always find their way out. What would you suggest?
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Sara, Alas, dear one, I feel your pain. Although she is not technically a blood relative, I have been unsuccessfully trying to ditch Lisann for years. She follows me all around the country on vacation, she kidnaps the Litter Bugs and has brainwashed them into calling her Tia Lisa and thinking they adore her. . .there is really no length she won't go to in order to finagle her way into my life. I understand the nearly irresistable urge practically everyone has to be with The Wonder That is Me, but this slavish devotion Lisann shows gets just a wee bit tiresome at times. Anyway, I fear I have no advice for you, dear. Perhaps you could change your identity and enter a witness protection program? If that works out, please let me know, as I might eventually be forced to join you. Good luck, dear! Empathetically yours, Miss Litter
Originally Posted By Lisann22 <<<I have an issue with relatives. Is there any fail proof way of weeding out the dead wood on one's family tree? I've tried dropping them off in trailer parks but in two or three days they always find their way out. What would you suggest?>>> Dear Woodchopper, Buy a big box, wrap it really pretty with paper, a beautiful bow and a lovely card saying they won a trip. A weeks vacation in World Events. Tell them this is your new home and they are welcome any time. Of course if your relatives are mentally unstable and live in a constant state of Fantasyland like the box above me, well then Woodchopper you just need to throw down the ax.
Originally Posted By Sara Tonin Thanks for the advice ladies. I changed the phone # after telling them all to call before that come over. Signed, Relatively Distressed
Originally Posted By goodgirl Dear Lisa and Litter, In preparation for an upcoming Disney cruise next week I came to the conclusion that I would truly like to be free from shaving my legs on vacation so I arranged with a fancy schmancy spa in town to have my legs waxed tomorrow. I was so overwhelmed with the array of services they provide that with complete abandon (and disregard to my bank account) I also signed up for a massage, pedicure, facial, and---yes, while drunk with the idea of being pampered for the afternoon---I also committed to a bikini wax. Surely you two, in your worldly experience of beauty treatments can advise me....will I feel any pain?
Originally Posted By Chris in Atlanta Let's say that I am babysitting someone else's child during the day, and I have been keeping this child with my own kids, for MONTHS now. Let's say that I believe the child to be autistic, like along the lines of Asperger's Syndrome. Let's say that I am so convinced that this is the case, because I have spent hours combing the internet, reading all I can about the signs and symptoms of this, that I am 99.99% convinced that this child is Apergers..... HOW do I express this to the mom and dad, who absolutely refuse what is staring them in the face, and yet choose to live in la la denial land?
Originally Posted By Chris in Atlanta ...oh and what if, I am wrong? At the very least, the child is developmentally delayed in such a way that SOMETHING is not right. What do I do?
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Stepping out of character for a minute - Chris in Atlanta, I think you should take this to Community or WE and out of PlayPen. We hear at Lisa and Litter do not pretend to be true advice givers. Instead we try to mock, degrade, bring hilarity and silliness to life's everyday trival problems. Now if you ever try to say I wasn't serious in my role here as Lisa, the arch rival and opposite advice giver of Litter I will hunt you down and do cruel intentional things to you. This post will self-explode once you have read it. Now to continue on with the BEST (Lisa) and WORSE (Litter) advice thread on LP...
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Looking For Magic on the Magic, Oh, dear. Oh, my. Miss Litter is too late to offer the advice she would have before you embarked upon your. . . um. . . dipilatory adventure. But perhaps you will find it helpful should you ever decide to repeat this experience. Although I feel I simply must say, dear, that I am rather shocked and distressed that you would bring up such a delicate matter in such a public forum. Tsk, tsk. Most distasteful. Anyway, Looking for Magic, I strongly suspect that it did, indeed hurt. Perhaps even to the point of you thinking fleetingly of uttering naughty words. So if you do this again, dear, let me suggest that you imbibe copious amounts of sherry beforehand. And perhaps take a silver spoon to bite on as well. Blushingly yours, Miss Litter P. S. And do report in, dear. Miss Litter has the most distressing images of you still lying unconscious in the spa after blacking out from the pain. And undoubtedly in a most unladylike state of disarray. . . oh, dear. I can't think about this any further, it is simply too upsetting.
Originally Posted By RockyMtnMinnie >>>let me suggest that you imbibe copious amounts of sherry beforehand<<< I always do seem to make people feel better.
Originally Posted By RockyMtnMinnie Dear Lisa and Litter, I have found lately that my interest in virtual family and friends has wained as of late, though I still love you all quite dearly. I just keep spending less and less time on LP, Facebook, etc. Just today I found out about Lisa's beautiful new kitty. I want Lisa to give my furr baby a beautiful name just for her. Any suggestions on how to get that excitement back before I resort to streaking through world events or just being done with it and posting my 150,000 word I'm leaving LP forever letter? Signed Copious Amounts of Sherry
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dearest Copious Amounts of Sherry, Now just hold on one little minute, dear. You are quite correct in your statement that copious amounts of Sherry makes everyone feel better. Well, I guess I can't actually speak for *everyone*, but I do know you make me feel better, and really, who else matters all that much? So you must remain here with me, dear, as I'm not going anywhere. And while ordinarily Miss Litter does not condone streaking, just this once I shall give you leave to streak through World Events if it would brighten your outlook. But honestly, dear, I'm not sure anyone over there would notice. In fact, I have heard rumors that there aren't even very many actual people left over there, just a whole bunch of home computers that have been programmed by their owners to spit out two or three slightly different versions of the same rants and rhetor. . . um, I mean the same sort of educated and open minded opinions. But if you'd like to streak, by all means, try it just this once. Bracingly yours, Miss Litter
