Originally Posted By Lisann22 Dear L & L: I've been really, really snarky lately. Should I tone down my snarkiness? Love, Tim ------------------------------------ Tim, You have Beauinfitsotagohimitis. Stay out of World Events for one week, visit PlayPen threads twice daily, immediately start a BRAT diet, come back for a check up in a couple hours.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Dear L & L I visit a website and there's certain people on there that are right nut cases, really truly they are.... they make me laugh and laugh. It's just so bad I sit and read what they have to say instead of getting on with my day. I'm just not strong enough to close it down. What can I do, can you help, how can I break this obsession? -------------------------------------- Run, run for the hills!!
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Because a certain 'friend'-ly poster had to go and make an unprovoked attack and make the thread all ugly. Nice thread going, then for no reason he starts in on me. As usual. If I wanted this kind of abuse I'd start a thread saying one should always enter Disneyland through the right tunnel, not the left.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Dear L & L, I have a big decision to make, and need your help. I just received an e-mail from a guy named Bill Gates, and it turns out, he's pretty important in some company called Micro Soft. Not sure what they make, but it sounds like fabric softener. In the e-mail, Bill tells me that he is testing a new e-mail response program (seems weird for a fabric softener company to be doing that sort of thing, but some companies have more money than sense). He said that if I e-mail him my Social Security number and a credit card number, he'll make me rich beyond my wildest dreams. At last, opportunity knocks for Kar2oonMan! Now, my problem is that many years ago, I was on vacation at Bass Lake. It was really hot that week. I'm talking sweating from places I didn't know had pores. And the chafing! Fuhgeddabowdit. Anyway, so it' hot as anything and i decide to go for a dip in the lake. But I forgot to take my wallet out of my cutoffs (I wore cutoffs back then. Daisy Duke was all the rage back then, and I wanted to be popular). Well, wouldn't you know it, my Social Security card was in my wallet. It was ruined. And I couldn't see the number anymore. This is my last chance for a life of luxury. With the money, I could continue work on my foundation to reintroduce domestic Chia pets into the wild. I could fly to Austria or wherever it is Debtee lives and learn the strange customs there. I could play a hand in wiping out those hideously loud and annoying commercials featuring this guy: <a href="http://www.kaboomkaboom.com/index.m" target="_blank">http://www.kaboomkaboom.com/in dex.m</a> and so much more. If you both would simply send me your Social Security numbers and credit card numbers, I'm sure Bill wouldn't ever know the difference. I mean, it won't cost you guys even a stamp -- e-mail is free! Thanks in advance for helping me fulfill my dreams. Don't do it for me, though. Do it for my inner child. The one with the big, soulful eyes. Who looks a little hungry and cold. And needs your help. Signed, Inda Money
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Dear Lisa, Why did you kill our thread? Love, Litter -------------------------------- I was dreaming of you.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 If you both would simply send me your Social Security numbers and credit card numbers, I'm sure Bill wouldn't ever know the difference. I mean, it won't cost you guys even a stamp -- e-mail is free! Thanks in advance for helping me fulfill my dreams. Don't do it for me, though. Do it for my inner child. The one with the big, soulful eyes. Who looks a little hungry and cold. And needs your help. Signed, Inda Money ----------------------------------- Inda Money, Here's my SSI # and credit card # 666-66-6666 1234-5678-9101112 Sally Ya Soul
Originally Posted By Ursula Dear L&L, Having won the contest at work yesterday, I find my colleagues are distant and sometimes point and laugh when they think I'm not looking. I can't help it that I was more creative than they; that I had access to more official-looking items than they...whatever shall I do? Sincerely, Star Crossed
Originally Posted By markedward Lisa and Litter - I know there are bigger problems in the world ... hill a' beans ... war and famine ... whatever ... but I'm hoping you will be able to help me with a SERIOUS problem I have. See, I sometimes enjoy posting on a website 's discussion boards, and on one of them, the posts are supposed to be in alphabetical order. Only, I can never remember the letter X. It was funny the first time. Really funny the second time. But now it's just embarrassing. What can I do? Signed, Definately NOT X Rated
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Star Crossed, Darling, this is your lucky day! Miss Litter has had extensive personal experience with a problem much like yours. You see, there is this certain LP poster (we'll call her "Pisa") who has been following me around the boards pestering me for years. She is obsessed with me. It's even gone so far as her planning trips to Disneyland at the same time I'm going, and begging me to come visit her at her home. I go, of course, being the ever gracious and kind soul that I am. But Pisa seems to be a tad lacking in social skills. And she's insanely jealous of me. So rather like a third grade boy on the playground teasing and pulling the pigtails of the girl he likes most, this Pisa is constantly seeking my attention in negative ways. It was extremely annoying at first, but I have finally hit upon the way to cope with it. I simply remember how pitiful she truly is, and several times a day I chant the following affirmation in front of a mirror: "She's just jealous, she's just jealous, she's just jealous, and besides I'm prettier and everybody likes me better anyway." I'm sure this will work for you, too. Good luck, dear!
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Dear Definately NOT X Rated, Start watching Sesame Street with your two-year-old. Good luck, dear!
Originally Posted By friendofdd >>>(I wore cutoffs back then. Daisy Duke was all the rage back then, and I wanted to be popular).<<< Dear L 'n L Is it really true that this pathetic, little troll (whom I love dearly), is a crossdresser?
Originally Posted By alexbook Dear L&L: Is it possible that I'm not as funny as I think I am? --Seriously Concerned
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>Is it possible that I'm not as funny as I think I am?<< Take it from me, that's impossible!
Originally Posted By quincytoo Dear Lisa not Litter Just how long should a blood oath last for??? I have a friend who introduced me to Peanut Butter M&M's....OMG these candies are incredible tasty and sweet. The first time I ate them I swore I'd always be nice to Pixi.....ummm my friend. You see I love her dearly but she can be rather trying at times, and my sharp wit has nip out at her maybe once or twice. Dear Lisa between you, me and this board, that dear sweet little dog was provoked.. After she introduced me to Peanut Butter M&M's, I took a blood oath to bite my tongue (no matter how she got) and always reply back nicely to her. Yours Truly My Tongue Won't Stop Bleeding
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Alright, the loons are running the bin I see. Time to set things straight! ---------------------------------------- Star-Crossed, Thumb your nose at them. Who cares really?! They are peons, treat them as such. --------------------------------------- Definately not X Rated, You are probably confusing the X for Malcolm, or for Rays, or Xibit, or you need xamples of X words. And you are right we got more important stuff to worry about around here! ---------------------------------------- friend of everybody, Dude, you're starting to alarm me with this obsession, you're almost as bad as Litter and her obsession and constant having to talk about how Lisa follows her around. Get a grip people and see the world for how it really is. <yes, he's a crossdresser, you should have seen him in his polka-dot water wings> --------------------------------------- Seriously Concerned, ANYTHING is possible. Sometimes comedians are like people suffering from eating disorders. You look in the mirror and what you see and what reality are - well they just ain't the same. ---------------------------------------- Can't stop biting my tongue, There is no promise worth keeping with Litter. Trust me! Come back to the dark side where we cook, eat well, and throw back shots!
Originally Posted By quincytoo Dear Lisa not Litter That is the best advice I have ever had Thank you
