Originally Posted By smeeeko I personally don't see being depressed or having anxiety attacks as a type of "insanity" so calling people who are on depression meds insane is not a polite thing, IMHO (only). I don't take depression meds but I can imagine a day when all the routes of adoption are taken that some people might become very depressed and have to take some kind of meds. Now I was assuming this was for International Adoptions in China but yeah, I don't see where it says that. As far as deformities thats just nuts. With a population of people that don't necesarily appreciate having females (I was under the impression this still may be the case with the one child per family laws they have there) that having a loving stable home regardless of what the family looked like was more important. As it is, you can often have a waiting period of up to at least 2years trying to do an international adoption in many Asian countries. That would make me very anxious personally, married or not.
Originally Posted By Dabob2 <People in their mid 20s aren't always sure about what they want in life. It's a sweeping generalization, but in the numbers they have to deal with, it's probably a good rule of thumb and if you CAN'T wait, then you really SHOULD wait.> I'd say much is probably dependent also on (harsh as this sounds) supply and demand. If there are more than enough prospective non-Chinese parents wanting to adopt, China can afford to use these more stringent rules and look for parents they consider closer to the "ideal." If that changed one day, perhaps they'd relax the age thing or the "facial deformity" thing.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy <I personally don't see being depressed or having anxiety attacks as a type of "insanity" so calling people who are on depression meds insane is not a polite thing, IMHO (only).> No, not you only. I agree. The most common mental issues in this country are anxiety and depression. They're not "insanity", and they're much more common than some would think. But, that's China. Different country, different story.
Originally Posted By DlandJB If China cared so much about the welfare of their adoption-ready baby girls, they'd let them stay with their birth parents and not fine them for having more than one child.
Originally Posted By officerminnie My friends just got back from China last week with their newly adopted adorable little girl. They apparently did it just in the nick of time, because he turns 50 in January. Whew! If he had turned 50 last month, who knows what kind of horrible parent he might be?
Originally Posted By jonvn "they'd let them stay with their birth parents and not fine them for having more than one child." It's the parents that don't want them. Girls have always been considered little more than a nuisance.
Originally Posted By DlandJB Jonvn, in order to enjoy the holiday season more, I'm going to ignore you on this particular thread. I have a hard time disliking people in general, but you make it too easy.
Originally Posted By jonvn I'm telling you the truth. In the 19th century, Chinese families sold their daughters into slavery for as little as $40. There is a long history of parents selling female children because they were not wanted. Now, you don't have to like me, I don't care. But that is the reality.
Originally Posted By smeeeko ^to some extent this was indeed true, housemaids or whatever.. I don't know what the current practice is however. The one child rule from what I recall is irregardless of sex but yeah, boys were prized more. I think "JOY LUCK CLUB" actually covers some of that previous stuff unfortunately. Also it's not just a Chinese practice. Thailand isn't exactly up on the rights of children either, though supposedly it's changing for the better if you believe the tourist boards and whatnot..
Originally Posted By jonvn "to some extent this was indeed true, housemaids or whatever.. " Most of them were sold into prostitution. This was done by the thousands. These girls, generally 12 to 16 years old lived an average of 5 years after the were taken from their families. And, yes, it's not just in China. Disgusting, isn't it.
Originally Posted By jonvn "to some extent this was indeed true, housemaids or whatever.. " Most of them were sold into prostitution. This was done by the thousands. These girls, generally 12 to 16 years old lived an average of 5 years after the were taken from their families. And, yes, it's not just in China. Disgusting, isn't it.
Originally Posted By Ursula I guess I can see needing an age requirement, but not those ages listed. Healthy, okay. I don't get facial deformity. What does that mean? Ugliness, or a cleft-palate thingie? Or facial hair or a wart or what? Sigle, okay. That makes sense. It's best to have two parents around to raise a child if you can get that, not that I think it's necessary personally. Obesity. What does that have to do with raising a child? Frankly, most of the best moms I know are a bit pooh-sized. I guess a country can do what they want for their babies, but hello, if you have families who want children and your own country doesn't want them...isn't it best to see that they are given the best home and love possible? What does age or size have to do with that?
Originally Posted By jonvn I think there is a lot of demand, and they can be choosy. I don't get the facial deformity thing, either, maybe they think it will badly affect the child. Obesity? They probably want the parent to be healthy. Obesity is not a good thing.
Originally Posted By Ursula You can be healthy and obese. A lot of people reach old old and are obese. I agree that it isn't the best thing for overall health, but it's not like having a mental disorder that could affect a child.
Originally Posted By jonvn I don't think you can be healthy and obese. Not for the vast majority of people.
Originally Posted By dlkozy Supply and demand has NOTHING to do with this. Have you ever seen the documentary entitled "The Crying Room"? It was shot underground in China. Outsiders became suspicious when after visiting many orphanages they noticed that the number of children never seemed to change. That's because they only keep a certain number of children there-when they excede that number they are put in the crying room where they are not feed, or touched-they are just left to die. Adoption in China is a HUGE moneymaker for them. It cost my Brother and Sister in Law way over 24,000 plus the under the table $$$ etc, for children that China murders-this would include children with birth defects, facial deformities (even large birthmarks on the face are considered a deformity). They adopted 6 years ago and their daughter is wonderful. The age thing is silly, what I understand is that the combined ages of the parents cannot excede 100.
Originally Posted By avromark I would say that financially stable for X years would make more sense than 30 to 50. I'd say 21 to 55, financially stable for 3 years. Age has nothing to do with maturity. I can understand not wanting a 77 year old single to adopt, but a 20's 0r 30's something single may marry later or may be capable of raising a child single, may have a grandparent available during work etc. So under these guidelines - a beautiful but self centred person who is married but doesn't have much to do with their spouse, may have ADD or another disorder is a better parent then a 51 yr old widow who owns his/her own home, is an active member of the community and is retired?
Originally Posted By dlkozy >>>"--single"<<< I don't believe that is true. I have friends (2 of them) both have recently adopted baby girls and both ladies are single.
