Originally Posted By Mary Poppins Sorry to hear you are having a rough day, at least it's almost over in England. I don't know what to say to guide you. The independent consulting work my husband started didn't work out for him. He met up with a partner, it worked on and off. Now's he working with the same partner and I have seen any money for 3 months. That's my experience with consulting. HOWEVER, I can only speak from my experience. I would never dream of holding you back from your destiny. Your children seem to be expressing some of the stress you are feeling, perhaps? I don't know. Your mother is not a help in this situation (don't want to put your mom down because I don't know all the ins & outs). Some lovely people think that criticizing us will help us and we should be thankful for their opinions. Because she is your honoured mother, you'll have to make allowances for her if you want to save the relationship. (what you do about your relationship should be a decision for another time when you are not stressed). I know you as an intelligent, creative and delightful person with a lovely family. Hang on to that! Here is a religious illustration. Take it or leave it. It helped me a bit. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to what we have, that we are reluctant to let go. Even though God needs our hand to be open so he can bless us with something bigger to hold on to.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Thanks guys, this is all so appreciated. Lee - thanks for chiming in, I really appreciate your thoughts. I have learnt this year, there is very little security for an individual in their first 2 years of employment (even less in 1st year, and even less so in 1st 6 months). There are some long term gigs up for grabs, but with similar issues as before. Looking into the tax angle and NI, it seems like one of the contracts up for grabs will net my annual within the 6 months of the contract. Tempting. It would be nice to find something comfortable in some ways, but I am thinking maybe this is my chance. Working in my sector, clients are better at paying their invoices in the main too, and after 13 years in the sector, my black book for looking for a role for 1 is easier than trying to sell large projects and teams. But I will continue to pursue all 3 avenues (my mom thinks I should look to do something with few hours and have benefits and tax relief supplement some of the loss - that is what the arguement was about, I don't want to do that). Beamerdog - you are amazing, thank you. the questions are good. Thankfully I am used to them as I have been in training and Management Consultancy for 12 years now, so we are used to some of the lifestyle issues. It is the financial risk if I struggle to find commissions that is a concern. But last night I spoke with a few contacts about considering this, today I had two telephone interviews, and the feedback on one is a final interview, and I should hear on the other one tomorrow. tonight an ex colleague wondered if I was willing to head back up to the North West again as they have a role. These have not been as fast forthcoming when looking for permanent work, but now the word is out I might freelance, I have been a very busy boy today. as for depression, ironically I am not that depressed, more a little angry, hurt, and keen to progress. It is different this time. But yes, I am a little down, and my mom has been making it far worse (I don't think their business is going to last long on the current trajectory). But I appreciate your positive thoughts. X - thanks man
Originally Posted By Schmitty Good Vibes Dave, My comments would echo all that beamerdog listed in post 9. You will be working a ton of hours! It will be feast and famine. I had an engineering consultant practice for 5+ years. The economy finally got me. Actually it was an absolutely "No Growth" ordinance passed by San Luis Obispo County - you couldn't even grade a driveway. That ruined the local economy. I had to file bankruptcy, and on the one day I did, so did 1,500 other people! That went on for weeks - tens of thousands of people went bankrupt. So check carefully that the same sort of thing wouldn't happen to you. Another thing is that you will experience great highs and awful lows. Proceed carefully. Although I worked more than 60 hour weeks, I did get to spend a lot more time with my kids when they were about the same age as yours. I'd start my day at about 4:00 a.m. and would end it at about 4:00 p.m. giving me the late afternoon and evening with them. On weekends, when I often had to work, I'd do my work between 4:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. That time with the kids was absolutely the best part. Another thing was that while I was in San Luis Obispo County (Paso Robles), I selected an accountant in Buena Park. Four times a year I could take the family to DL and the gas, room and my meals were tax write offs. I have no idea what your country would allow. Oh, and I was audited every year, although I never had to pay anything more than about $100 most years, often nothing - it was a token for the IRS auditor to save face. That just came with the territory. All in all I had a great time, and I'd recommend it to anyone with the strength and courage to do it. I remember one book called Gorilla Marketing that was a great help, and another that I can't remember, but the theme was to treat a growing business like a plant. Too fast of growth or to little growth was unhealthy. Nurture it. There, I just saved you six bucks. I also had a lot of sales skills and was very organized working my territory which included Monterey, San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara Counties. I also could offer things few other firms could: I had a lot more experience that all the Cal Poly grads who left school and with their parents money hung a shingle right away. Oddly, the other thing that set me apart was I was extremely honest. The kids from Cal Poly didn't get how important that was. Weird. If your moods can handle it, go for it!
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo X - It is a small world KCHIEF - Thank you, I know we will get through, somehow, but everyone's positive thoughts are so helpful, thank you. SBSBELLE22 - awesome, thank you. It is true, nothing ventured, nothing gained. and Walt kept betting the ranch and coming out with bigger and better things. Pete - you are a good man, thank you for being my friend. I am trying to stay frosty, as long as I don't get hyperthermia ;-) disneymom443 - thank you, it is so nice to know the support is here. I did wonder during my little sabbatical a little while ago. It is great to see the support is ther. Kiz - thanks man. It's funny, the ones I know who have done it do not want to go back to corporate/civil service life. The ones who have never done it, tell me not to. And there are a few who have had to go back to PAYE, but they admitted they struggled with the juggling. But having run £5m and £12m p.a. businesses for someone else, it feels like the work for myself would actually be easier. I think a good sleep is in order. As for family feuds, it would be fine, but ma has a vindicative memory. This has happened 6 times in the last 15 years, and everytime it hurts more and feels less worth while. It is at the point right now, where I wonder if it is worth me extending the olive branch - but then my kid brothers and the adoration my kids have for their uncles and grand parents, means I can't just walk away (my mom raised me better than that I guess ;-) RMM - it is awesome that things are working out better for you. You are right, 9 times out of 10, I feel worse hanging up the phone with my mom. But it is worth it for that 1 time we have the rapport working. fkurucz - thanks for making me smile. Yep, we have got free medical, and if all else fails, the state have said they would fund my teacher training if I want to do that. Problem is, no income during the 9 months training and then the earning potential is a 3rd of what I was on (now's not a good time to shed assets to reduce overheads sadly). Lol DYGDISNEY - thanks, that is encouraging.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Mary P - Thank you. I am worried about the lean times. Though I have spoken with an accountant friend, and appently whereas about 48% of my income has been going to the tax man and on national insurance contributions, as a Ltd. company, it would be closer to 20-25%. I do wonder if this is an opportunity to try it out and put money buy for when I am marketing and developing business, and then if things don't pan out, I could look for a permanent gig again. Sadly, there have so far only been 4 roles in my field within a 45 min commute available since May 18th. There are many that involve lots of travel and risks for a lesser salary (I know that is not everything). We have looked for far lesser roles with far lesser slaries locally, but they are scarce (and many have said I am over qualified and experience and doubt I would stick it out), and Sarah has spoken to a few contacts about her going back to work when Jessica starts school in September, but they have not panned out due to the credit crunch. So on my own with the potential contracts (there are not many in the UK with my mix of skills thankfully), and non chargeable/BD days where I might be able to take a little time out with the kids (subject to the business model) seems like an attractive option. But if I go back into government, it may have more longevity (even though there are likely to be 10-15% reductions in civil servant headcount). As for the theological line MP, it is appreciated. I may not be christian, but I do have faith and am philosophical. god bless you. Schmitty - great story and thank you. I think there are some synergies, which is a double edged sword. We are all used to me working 70 hour weeks around here. With 2 of these contracts, it seems like that is likely to reduce. the only thing that scares me is if the bottom drops out. But on the flip side, I suppose it would be no worse than now.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Also, the point is, I have been on board positions before. When things are lean, there is a huge group of people at risk including myself. If you mess up at that level, you are out (or in my case, if company cashflow is low and you are the newest senior recruit). Is that any different? I am not sure.
Originally Posted By chickapin From my limited perspective--taking the 6 month contract would give you a pretty good feel about working for yourself whilst making good money. A couple of months in you could decide whether to pursue more independent contracts or an employer when the 6 months is up. If I understand that situation correctly, it would seem to be a pretty safe way to test the waters... Good luck whichever way you decide to proceed!
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Thanks Chikapin, that is kind of what I am feeling right now. And who knows, the economy may start to perk up a little (see, I can still be optimistic!!!)
Originally Posted By iamsally Oh Dave, I know things will work out for you. Rod has lost or left more jobs than I can count. I know some folks have thought we were reckless but we have enjoyed our chosen lifestyle. I was lucky enough to have very accepting parents (Rod not so much). My dad was a bit upset when we packed up the kids and moved to Hawaii; but then they made the best of it by visiting twice a year. Bottom line though, something has always come up. The right thing will happen for you and you will recognize it when it comes. We have had to change our lifestyle to meet our means many times. As are we right now. We even spent a year on Welfare during the Reagan recession. I am so grateful for that time cuz people who spout off about it often do not have a clue as to what subsistance living is really like. Now is really a hard time for us as we feel a bit old to have to find new careers. But if it comes to that I have no fear. We can no longer get assistance of any kind as we have no dependent children anymore. We are lucky that unemployment benefits are being extended. Once those run out there is nothing for us until we are 62. And no medicare until 65 so pray we do not get sick. Rod talks about self employment but I put my foot down as I know we do not have the necessary self dicipline. I did not mean to ramble on or try to make it look like we are destitute. We are not. I really just want to let you know that we have been here many times and things have worked out as I am convinced they will for you and your wonderful family. Ruthie
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Thanks ruthie. During the last recession, my parents lost our house and we ended up living in a camper like gypsies until we sorted it out. My mom was pregnant, my dad still recovering from having a tumour removed, I was trying to study and hold down 3 jobs (I was nearly taken into care at the time). I vowed I would never let it happen to me. I suppose that is why it is scary now. It was scary enough as a 16 year old kid, but now as the hubby and daddy, whew!!! I know we will get through as long as we have each other. It is the fact that I can't count on my mom now. She still will not pick up or reply to e-mails. Joy!
Originally Posted By iamsally Whoa, I am sorry but no mom should ever do that. Sorry for being so blunt but I just cannot accept that. My parents and I had altercations over the years but we never refused to speak to each other. I have every faith that you will always keep a roof over your family's heads. Maybe not the fanciest roof you ever imagined; but you will see to it they are cared for. I would hate to have a young family these days. I see my kids struggle to make ends meet. Only one of them has managed to buy a house and she married a banker who had an enheritance.LOL At least our house is paid for and we only have to care for ourselves, not little children who depend on us. We can live on much less than we are used to (as we are proving). Hopefully if you back off on Mom she will cool off and get in touch with you. If not, focus on your wife and kids. Ours always loved it when Rod was laid off and hated it when he had to go back to work. Make the most of your time off.
Originally Posted By Disneymom443 Sorry to hear that your mom is still not responding to you. My momn and I have not seen each other in 7years ans talked in 5 years(she has never seen my son) I'm also happy to hear that you are getting through this with your family. You'll be alright.
Originally Posted By fkurucz <<fkurucz - thanks for making me smile. Yep, we have got free medical, and if all else fails, the state have said they would fund my teacher training if I want to do that. >> Here in the land of the free, Obama is encountering incredible opposition to any sort of healthcare reform. Those who benefit from our current fiasco of a system have done a great job of brainwashing the masses into believing that our inefficient, incredibly expensive, byzantine system is the best in the world. Meanwhile, I have put off my followup colonospcopy by 6 months because it would cost me $1200 out of pocket. I am going to bite the bullet and get it done next month. Also, if you were to retrain as a teacher here you would have to pay for it yourself, unless you were utterly destitute (no income, no assets). Our College finance system is also byzantine. These days "financial aid" mostly consists of loans (again, unless you are destitute). Since total annual tuition at public U's can be as high as $10,000 (and you get to add 8-10K for room and board on top of that) it isn't surprising that students are graduating with crushing levels of student loan debt.
Originally Posted By A Happy Haunt DWB, since you have not posted here today I'm guessing you have found your new path. A door closes, a door opens. Hope all is well. Chin up!
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Thanks guys, very busy. I have an interview tomorrow in London for a Director role, another one at the company I started with in a Snr management role on Tuesday and another one on Friday. But, I think I will be starting my own firm. I was offered a contract and when I said I was waiting for another, they upped the money and the duration to 6 months. So, it looks like it is worth taking the gamble. Thanks for all the well wishes folks. I have been trying to do all my research, talk to people and sort out the legalities. I will still go to London tomorrow, if anything it never hurts to network. But it looks like I will be starting the new gig on wednesday! Monday will be a legal day, and Tuesday morning I am taking my little girl into the woods for a teddy bear picnic with her playgroup
Originally Posted By Tinkeroon Dave, much luck in your new venture. Wishing you nothing but the best and have all faith it will work out beautifully. And have fun on your Teddy Bear picnic! awwwwwwww
Originally Posted By ReadingMom Dave...good things happen to good people. You're good people. Best of luck to you and your lovely family.
