Originally Posted By beamerdog I've been in a drug-induced "just this side" of coma. There were times when I could hear things clear as day. I'm sure that Rosie knows you're with her. Bless your heart, RT.
Originally Posted By ecdc Yes, I do think there should be additional end of life options. RT, there's not much more for me to add to what's already been said. I'm so sorry you're going through this. My best to you and Rosie - you've been in and will continue to be in my thoughts often.
Originally Posted By FilmNoir An emphatic yes...we desperately need end of life options. We treat our pets with more compassion than we offer to humans with regard to this topic. Jer, please tell your sweetie that she is well loved by many!
Originally Posted By wonderingalice For the many reasons stated throughout this thread... Yes, we do. Jerry, I wish I could find the words... Ronn and I send our love to both of you. I'm so glad we had the opportunity to meet Rosie... Such a wonderful woman. *Hugs*
Originally Posted By dlkozy RT, I am so sorry. I have my DM living with us now and she has to have 24 hour care. We have been living with care coming in and out of our home now for 16 months. It is sad that people have to hunt for info when they are put into situations such as this. I wish that there was a manual with all the helpful hints so that the family does not always feel that they have to be on the "hunt" for answers, solutions, even the cheapest place to buy the things that are needed. We have found a great source for personal supplies that seems to be a very good price. Let me know if you would like that info. If you end up having 24 hour care in your home, I can share some of the rules that we decided on for the help that we have. Some of our help needed these to help remind them that this was still a family and "our house, our rules" type thing. Sadly sometimes some tend to take over and we were getting left in the dust. I will keep you in my prayers.
Originally Posted By Tiggirl Yes, I do think end of life options should be availible to those who need them. My thoughts are with you! {{Jerry and Rosie}} ~Beth
Originally Posted By Sara Tonin Of course there should be whatever option the patient and their family chooses. And deciding to end the pain and let go are difficult things to do, and not necessarily the "easy way out". I know whatever you and Rosie decide to do will be the right thing. We support you 100% percent.
Originally Posted By DVC_dad <<<Until people have been through this situation in some way, I think it would be very difficult to relate to it, even in a small way.>>> I know this is a WE topic, but I just wanted to chime in here and say that I agree with SPP's quote above. My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to you and your dear wife. As for end of life, I imagine I would feel about like you do right now. No one can really say until they walk in those shoes. I certainly wouldn't sit in judgment on this and it would be hard to convince me that Providence would deny someone based on an end of life decision considering the circumstances.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer I'm so sorry that you and your wife are going through this RoadTrip. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. People should have the right to decide to end their own life when facing a terminal illness like this one. Delaying the soon-approaching inevitable for someone in pain has always seemed the wrong decision to me. And the enormous costs of keeping someone alive only to delay their death by a matter of days also seems pointless if the person is ready to go. If this remains an important issue to you after Rosie passes, the Missouri End of Life Coalition is trying to change the laws to help in the situation that you are facing. You can google it when you have less important concerns on your mind.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Rosie will be discharged from the hospital today or tomorrow. We have decided to go with in-home hospice care. It seems all the professionals I talked to say that the quality of care in long-term care facilities is marginal at best. Not because of lack of effort by the staff, but because they are chronically understaffed. I am faced with an agonizing decision... both doctors and hospice staff are encouraging me not to resume Rosie's TPN nutrition. She has been off it for a week now while in the hospital. TPN feeds infection (and cancer) like crazy... they wanted her off it while they tried to knock down the infection. She really has no appetite at this point; even though they have offered her a full liquid diet she eats very little. I am told if I resume the TPN nutrition it will just make the cancer grow that much faster. So essentially my choices are between slightly prolonging Rosie's life by making the cancer worse, or removing TPN nutrition and letting her die more gently over the coming weeks. I'm told I would NOT be starving her to death... I would just be saving her from a more prolonged and painful death. I know which way I am leaning, but the choice haunts me. Rosie is ready to go. At the hospital yesterday she told me "I don't want to be long sick". I asked if she meant she did not want to be sick long... she has a hard time phrasing her thoughts. She said yes.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Jerry, you're making choices based on love, so you cannot make a wrong decision. It's natural to second guess yourself, but seriously, whichever choice you make, it is the right one. You both remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Originally Posted By beamerdog RT, I was faced with a similar situation as the treatment choice for my father was similar. But my father's cancer was different and he had made his choice legal long before he reached this point. It was no less agonizing for me. I am glad that Rosie and you are able to communicate. I'd like to say more, but words fail me.
Originally Posted By JazzCat If she is ready to go, please let her know you will be okay. I did this for my mom and she passed (kidney cancer) within 12 hours of me saying that. There are times when I felt kind of guilty and wished I hadn't said it just to keep her here a little longer. I know she needed to know it was okay with her kids who were the light of her life. Please let her know we love her. We love you too Trippy.
Originally Posted By ecdc Like 2oony said, whatever you do will be the right decision. It's an agonizing, unbearable place to be in. You remain in my thoughts and I hope for your own peace of mind throughout this.
Originally Posted By -em >> I'm told I would NOT be starving her to death... I would just be saving her from a more prolonged and painful death.<< That is true I have had to make that decision before and I don't wish it on anyone. My bestest thoughts and wishes are with you guys at this time and may you walk this road with as much peace as possible. -em
Originally Posted By dshyates RT, all my love to the both of you. From all I know about you I feel confident that you will chose the right path. You are a loving husband and compassionate person. Just you being there for her is all that really matters.
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter My continued thoughts and prayers are with you, Rosie, and your entire family. I agree with the others. . . whatever choice feels right to you is the right one. But I'm so very sorry you're being forced to make such a choice.
Originally Posted By SingleParkPassholder You're doing the right thing. If she's ready to go, and says she doesn't want to be sick for long, you know what she prefers. It shouldn't haunt you, and she's trying to tell you that. In the scheme of things, you'll see her again before you know it.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo RT - I wish you both the very best in the next transition. We know your love for each other is strong and you will make the right choice. If there is ever anything we can do, don't hesitate to ask. Much love, Dave
