Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Don't ask me how I know, but jumping off the hood of a moving car is a lot more difficult than it looks in movies. If you do it wrong, you wind up slamming onto the pavement on your chin (after stumbling in a spactic Jerry Lewis-like run for few seconds hopelessly trying to remain upright, arms pinwheeling uselessly), resulting in the need for a late night trip to the emergency room for 14 stitches, cleansing of road rash on your chest & throat and a lot of explaining to your parents about how it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Originally Posted By Kira Don't ask me how I know but do not try to fix your "spraying water from every angle" showerhead by switching the nozzle to full massage power while looking directly into the shower head WHILE the water is going. You may end up feeling blind in one eye for a while.
Originally Posted By wendebird Don't ask me how I know, but never go down a wooden staircase wearing only socks.
Originally Posted By Ursula Don't ask me how I know, but don't ever tell Madonna's people she can't disassemble our pool table, store it in the parking lot over night, then resassemble it the next day.
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Don't ask me how I know, but never, ever, ever take the temperature of a newborn while they are lying facedown across your lap as you sit on your bed in your white-carpeted bedroom. . . think projectile baby poop with unbelievable velocity. Not that I have ever personally experienced such a phenomenon.
Originally Posted By t1lersm0m <<Never substitute Dawn liquid dishwashing soap in your dishwasher when you are all out of regular dishwasher detergent. Unless of course you *want* to make a room full of soap bubbles.>> OMG, I just had a visual of goodgirl swimming through bubbles in the kitchen trying to hit the OFF button on the dishwasher. LOL
Originally Posted By t1lersm0m Don't ask me how I know, but you shouldn't walk quickly over the bridges that surround the pool at AKL after it rains. YOu may just end up flat on your fat butt in front of some gorgeous hunks. Don't ask me how I know.
Originally Posted By Ursula Don't ask me how I know, but if you are in your early 20's and hang out with friends who look less than acceptable to the general public, and you try to get into your lock box in your jeep with your friends sitting in your jeep and a policeman drives by, you will be pulled over and investigated for stealing your own car.
Originally Posted By t1lersm0m Don't ask me how I know, but there are people who will actually call directory assistance to get the number to 9-1-1 (NO, it WASN'T me!)
Originally Posted By LadyKluck Don't ask me how I know, but if you squeeze a chicken in just the right spot - it will lay an egg on your shoe.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Don't ask me how I know, but when farmers are talking about AI they ain't talking about computers.
Originally Posted By FaMulan Don't ask me how I know, but never try to clip your cell phone onto a towel hanging on a towel rack just out of reach from stretching as far as you can out of the tub/shower stall.
Originally Posted By LadyKluck Don't ask me how I know, but touching an electric fence that is on while riding a horse shocks the both of you.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Don't ask me how I know but mosquitos love a girl's backend in the Redwoods when there's no restrooms for miles.
Originally Posted By JustDuckee Don't ask me how I know, but don't put threeundertwo in the corner during craft time...it will result in the removal of tiny beads from your retina, which were placed there with a high impact "bedazzler" gun.
