Originally Posted By idleHands "Don't ask me how I know but mosquitos love a girl's backend in the Redwoods when there's no restrooms for miles." Also a boy's backend. Far off the trail. Middle of nowhere. No hikers for miles. Sure is gettin' warm in here. "Move along, move along, nothing here to see..."
Originally Posted By pennyring Don't ask me how I know, but it's a bad idea to let them install the floor mat under your computer desk at a funky angle. You may hit the edge unexpectedly, flip the chair, and end up on the ground while a cadre of coworkers who happened to be in the room at that particular moment look on with amusement. ...why is it that all my pearls of wisdom end up with me flat on my back?
Originally Posted By idleHands "...why is it that all my pearls of wisdom end up with me flat on my back?" Same could be said for my post #41. LOL!
Originally Posted By chickendumpling Don't ask me how I know but carrying your beach changing clothes in a beach bag is way better than just rolling them up in a ball because sometimes, especially if you are walking on the waters edge and especially if you are @ 13 and just becoming acutely aware of boys, sometimes your underwear may fall out of that little ball of clothes you are carrying under your arm and end up getting carried out in the tide and floating into the middle of the circle of really totally cute surfers who may all point at your underwear and laugh and then you have to pretend its not your underwear and go commando for the whole rest of the day.
Originally Posted By Kel28 Don't ask me how I know, but it's not a good idea to drink when you know you are a light weight so that all that is left to regurgitate is stomach acid, causing you to permanently stain the garage floor of someone you barely know.
Originally Posted By Mrs 2oon Don't ask me how I know that you never put a dozen eggshells down a garbage disposal on Christmas Day only to have to call a plumber at 6:00pm on New Years Eve to fix the plumbing. Along with fixing the plumbing you also get a lecture on why you shouldn't put eggshells down a garbage disposal. Don't ask me how I know this. : - )
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 And speaking of eggs... You know how it's a rule of physics that if you apply pressure evenly to an object, it won't collapse? Mr. Science taught me this on his TV program. For example, if you cradle a raw egg in your palm and then squeeze it as hard as you can, it won't break! Well, some rules were made to be broken. Don't ask me how I know.
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 If you spray half the kitchen curtains, cupboards, and paneling with raw egg, your Mom will get upset. Very upset. Don't even ask.
Originally Posted By wendebird BTW, I put eggshells down my garbage disposal all the time. I've never had a problem. I'm kinda curious Mrs. Toon, what happened?
Originally Posted By Lisann22 ^^^ Me too! Inspector went Peter Brady with a raw egg. LMAO! Don't ask me how I know but never lift the slice of pizza with extra cheese from the pan over your sister's head when it's real hot.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>BTW, I put eggshells down my garbage disposal all the time.<< What can happen is that they settle at the bottom of the pipes, and over time they build up and create a blockage. Then one day, perhaps even on a holiday with a housefull of guests, gunky grey water starts filling up in the sink as you try to drain it, sometimes even erupting near the laundry area, depending on how your house's plumbing is arranged. It's like a scene from The Amityville Horror. and you'll go buy some liquid drain cleaner and discover that it won't do a thing. And you'll discover that a plunger only makes it worse. And that greyish, nasty water with disgusting bits of discarded food material will just sit in the sink, and you'll be doing everything you can to keep the guests engaged in the living room, so as not to discover your new raw sewage indoor pool science project. This all will happen when you least expect it, so I would strongly, strongly urge you to not put eggshells down the garbage disposal from this day forward. Don't ask me how I know.
Originally Posted By goodgirl When you're driving down the highway at 55 miles an hour and you're listening to the Ellen Degeneres show on the radio and she starts reading letters from her viewers on their most embarrassing moments and one of them hits you as so hilarious that you start to laugh really, really hard and you realize you're laughing so hard that you're going to pee your pants and so you're trying not to pee your pants but the story is just too funny and so you're trying to stop laughing and the next thing you know is that without realizing it you are holding your breath and you start to faint but you don't lose conciousness but things go gray in front of your eyes and half of you is thinking "hey! what h*ll! I can't see!" and the other half of your mind is thinking "OMG! We have to slow the car down so we don't get in an accident" and somehow you feel youself moving off the highway and bouncing all around and then you hear this pounding noise and you hear your 1999 Ford Taurus--which while not an outstanding looking car has served you well for several years in comfort, performance, and safety--being crunched up and then all of a sudden your vision comes back and you see green and you find that you've driven off the road across a field into a grove of trees and your car is totally destroyed but you are okay and no one was hurt except for several bruised trees but your car is completely totalled and then the police and paramedics arrive and you have to explain what happened and you feel like a complete idiot as they just stare at you but just to be sure you go to the doctor and spend four hours going through vision tests to find out that your eyes are a-okay for someoneone your age and you also have an MRI and MRA to rule out MS or a brain tumor and the docotr says your brain is normal and that has you confused because normal is a setting on your dishwasher but oh well and sure enough you were bringing on a "faint" and so the doctor says to make sure to go to the bathroom before going home at night and to change the radio dial to a classical music station. Don't ask me how I know.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost ^^^I would have paid good money to witness that. Glad you are OK all the same.
Originally Posted By Labuda Don't ask me how I know, but if ever you're travelling southbound on I-37 from San Antonio headed to Corpus and you have a blowout at 75mph, do NOT slam on the brakes, as you'll end up doing a 360 and then some, finally ending up miracuously unhurt (except some minor damage to the passenger taillight) but wedged between two trees with nigh but about 3' on either side of you.
Originally Posted By nevadarebel Don't ask me how I know but never try running next to a car trying to unlock the car door as it is rolling down a hill thinking you can climb back in it and stop the car without getting knocked down, running over your arm and not knowing how it missed your head.
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter Don't ask me how I know, but if you are walking down the very dark basement steps barefoot and you feel and hear a wet, popping, squash, you have stepped on a toad roughly the size of a baseball.
