Originally Posted By FerretAfros "but whatever happened to getting married in your hometown where most of your relatives and friends already live?" When my brother got married over this past summer, this option really didn't make much sense. Our family had moved about 4 years ago, and her family moved about 2-3 years ago, both while they were off at college. They could get married where the parents were now, or where the used to be, but there were very few people living there (no other relatives in the area). But either way, it would have been pretty far from where they met, went to school, and live now, and have most of their friends. So if they are going to go out of town (since it was way too expensive in DC), they might as well go some place that makes it kind of a fun vacation for everybody else. They ended up with Cape Cod, near the area where her family used to vacation every year to visit her grandma, so it was a place that was important to her, but still a destination.
Originally Posted By tashajilek " I think its somewhat rude to expect all your guests to spend thousands of dollars to attend your wedding. " I think its the bride and grooms choice to decide where they want to get married. We are not marrying our friends and family so i think we will be having a destination wedding. My brother gave me the advice of having a cheaper Vegas wedding because he didnt want my wedding to cost over $20,000 like his did 5 years ago. I will be giving my family and friends probably a years notice and if some people cant come i will be holding something else at home.
Originally Posted By tashajilek "You should just get married in the park without anyone knowing what you're doing. Just stand in front of the castle with someone ordained to marry and a couple witnesses, and presto, you're married!" Yea, and Mickey is going to be chasing me down with a big fat bill lol.
Originally Posted By CuriouserConstance "I think its the bride and grooms choice to decide where they want to get married." I totally agree.Too many people try to plan a wedding that's going to please everyone else. It's YOUR day. You do whatever makes you the happiest.
Originally Posted By tashajilek If i could afford to have a nice wedding here i probably would. What i can afford would get me a cheaper WDW wedding or a decent wedding in Vegas. I couldnt ever resort to have a wedding at someones house with cold cuts lol.
Originally Posted By vbdad55 you have to decide what you and spouse want- that is the most important. I can tell you 33 years ago when I got married we were very young- 23 and 21- and we did everything to make our parents happy. We had 250 people at a very posh resort- live band- top of the line cake and photographer- best tuxes/dresses - limo etc etc.. top shelf liquor open bar and top of the line food. Cost us over $5000 in 1972 ! We wanted a small wedding and to use the money we had saved for a Rhine River trip through Austria and Germany... we did what people ' expected' and said we would save and take the trip in a yer or so. 33 years later we never repeated the trip..and we see a small handful of people from the wedding. I have told my kids to do what THEY want for their wedding - not what they think either parental set wants- or friends want. If I was going to hold a 'location' wedding, I would expect to pay for parents and wedding party... therefore I'd keep that party small. Others who wanted to attend would be welcome - but on their own.
Originally Posted By fkurucz >>I think its the bride and grooms choice to decide where they want to get married.<< I agree. In the end the choice is yours. That's not my objection. My objection is when someone decides to get married on the other side of the world (say the Seychelles) and then they pull a long face when you tell them you won't be attending. "We are not marrying our friends and family." True, but a marriage is more than a couple coming together. It is the joining of two families. Even if you get divorced, you ex in-laws are still your kid's grandparents. Anyway, my two cents worth.
Originally Posted By vbdad55 " and then they pull a long face when you tell them you won't be attending. " agreed- if they choose to have a location marriage- then either they pay for everyone to be there- or else expect fallout
Originally Posted By WDWdreamin Yeah, I was married less than two years ago, but I think every cent for my wedding was worth it. Neither me nor my DH consider it a waste of time. We had an american church wedding and reception where I grew up and a reception and legal ceremony in DH's home town. I think that a destination wedding is just fine, and wouldn't expect the bride and groom to pay for anyone to come unless they wanted to. But it would be incredibly rude of them to not understand people who couldn't go because of cost (or other reasons).
Originally Posted By tashajilek ^^^ The people who would come would be only close family and friends all who would probably all come.
Originally Posted By FerretAfros Having the wedding far away does make it special, but it also helps keep the costs down. If people don't want to go that far to see you get married, then you don't need to buy them dinner. : ) Plus, it will probably be the people who are really important to you. Your close family and friends will want to go no matter what, and the people that you're on the fence about inviting will probably not show up anyway. Even though there are tons of concerns that pop up because you're not near the event site, it also helps get rid of a lot of them.
Originally Posted By vbdad55 and people are likely trying to keep costs down- we just attended a wedding where the couple did everything traditionally- and to make everyone happy- they spent ( mostly their parents did in this case) over $30K. I am sorry but I think that is insane in today's economy. I am all for the traditional church wedding and btw many couples with locaton weddings still have a church service -- but $40-45/head for dinner fairly common here - add moremoney for open bar- more for top shelf liquor- and thousands more for flowers/photographer/cake/dress/limo/rehearsal dinner/DJ-band
Originally Posted By Fe Maiden We had the traditional church wedding 180-200 people and my wife and I paid for it ourselves that way we had total control. If someone didn't make the list our parents wanted, then they had to pony up. Our only regret was that we didn't plan a longer honeymoon. We went on a 7 day cruise which was wondeful but it should have been 10-14 days. Weddings were a complete racket back in '97 I can't imagine what it's like today.
Originally Posted By tashajilek "Having the wedding far away does make it special, but it also helps keep the costs down. If people don't want to go that far to see you get married, then you don't need to buy them dinner. : ) Hahah so true! i already decided that only close family and friends will be invited anyways. My brothers wedding had people from his wifes side that he didnt even meet, which i find weird. "they spent ( mostly their parents did in this case) over $30K. I am sorry but I think that is insane in today's economy." Yea it is crazy, my brother is still paying for his over 5 years ago. When i get married i will have no help at all. I need to keep the cost down to as much as we can afford.
Originally Posted By fkurucz "The people who would come would be only close family and friends all who would probably all come." It depends. We had a niece who decided to get married on the other side of the world. It would have cost us at at least $10,000 to attend. Needless to say we did not.
Originally Posted By NikkiLOVESMickey ^^^^^Same here. My niece is getting married in Turks and Caicos in December (2 weeks before Christmas, thank you very much) and it would cost me at least $3500 to go. The flight alone is over $700. That's a lot to ask of people in the middle of a recession - most of our family isn't going because we just can't afford it. And again, it's the worst time of year - most people are already financially strapped at Christmas. Getting married out of the country at that time is just asking too much.
