Originally Posted By KatieKate123 By the way guys I wish I could be a drama queen about this but its not just affecting me its affecting two little girls. If it was just me I would just move on. B/c you are right I have been dumped and its time to move on, but my girls need their dad. So when you guys are bashing me in, you have to realize that though I say all I want him back, it's not really for me it's for them. If I was just someone without kids I could move on, but I am not. I have two little girls that ask every day where their daddy is.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 <<<One of my personal weaknesses is that I'll bleed myself out for people who need help: friends; people I know through the internet; somebody I meet at a bus-stop. I'm really not judgemental about people's issues. But if they're asking for something from me (advice, money, sympathy, whatever), I expect them to have integrity in the story they tell me.>>> Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner!
Originally Posted By RoadTrip Your little girls need YOU. They need a Mommy who can be strong and give them comfort even when things look the darkest. They will be able to accept that you don't know where their Daddy is or when he will be back if YOU can give them the security they need. Make sure they know that none of it makes any difference... that YOU will always be there for them. THAT is what they need to know. Kids face the loss of their Dads (or Moms) all the time, unfortunately. Whether it is because of a car accident, loss while serving their country in the military, or just because they walk away, it happens. They need the security of knowing that their remaining parent will still make sure they are cared for. It is time to accept the reality of the situation and do what you need to do as their MOTHER. I really don't intend to be mean, and hope that you can get whatever help you need when dealing with all of this... it is a TERRIBLE thing to have to go through. But you need to come to terms with it, for both your sake and that of your little girls.
Originally Posted By u k fan Katie, I hope for your kids' sake you get the closure they need, but I hope with all my heart that you have the strength to carry on without your partner. Whatever the reason, what he has done is inexcusable. I was brought up by a single parent (my father) from the age of about 10 and I know now that after my mother left he was devastated and spent most of his days in bed while we were at school, but as kids we didn't know that and never once felt unloved, unsupported or without a loving parent. I urge you to do the same for your girls. I am living proof that sometimes one parent is better than two. Please get help locally if you can, you're going to need real world support - stay strong.
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 Thanks you guys. I do my best to be there for my girls. I do not cry in front of them, or talk down about their dad. I cry enough behind closed doors.
Originally Posted By Princessjenn5795 Katie, I am sorry you are going through a tough time...I don't know what I would do if my husband just disappeared without word. Stay strong for your little girls and take care of yourself.
Originally Posted By rtjl72 k.k.- there are many posts here. some full of warm fuzzies and some- cold pricklies. i am not in your shoes- and you have never been in mine. so, to say either of use would know best for the other is impossible. opinions only. but, what i will say- you have allowed a person to hurt-- and i mean HURT!!!!!- your children. this is unforgiveable. and i truly- truly mean this. not only did he hurt your (notice i did not say his) children- but he was someone that they thought loved them. in my opinion- you can never allow him the honor to be close to them again. he can never have the opportunity to hurt them again. i wouldn't care what he said to try to make things right. he has hurt the most precious thing you can ever have. he has taken some of their basic solid formation of personality away. trust versus mistrust is a core developmetnal milestone for children. the impact that this event can have on the rest of their lives may be overwhleming and far reaching. no matter had sad and bottom of the bucket you may feel- you must be the girls protector!!!! if you would ever allow him into your home and let him play daddy again- then you are saying that the unbearable hurt that he girls have suffered was okay. THINK!!!!! think if you would ever want them to have to go through this again. any allowance that you would make for him to return to their- or your own life- would indicate you accept his decisions to hurt. if aliens came and whisked him away- maybe he could come back. you just never know when the aliens may come. any other reason for leaving was with his conscious decision. please- for the sake of the girls-do not allwow him to return!please!
Originally Posted By seafairy1622 Hang in there Katie. I got divorced 9 years ago and my 3 kids have not seen their dad since then. They are better off. My ex was a loser who in the last few years we were married refused to work and when he did his whole check went to the casino. He has not changed and doesn't call. He is in another state. My boyfriend of 8 years is a wonderful dad to my kids. He still treats me like a princess. You can make it without him and you deserve better.
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb It's Monday night, did your husband come home? (BTW, there is no judgment in that question, just honest curiosity) If he has, I hope you guys can work it out and resume being a whole family. If not, I urge you to find an attorney and find out your legal options post abandonment. I have also mentioned Parents with out Partners, they are a national organization that has access to resources you may not even be aware you need and will also serve as a support system.
Originally Posted By TXDISNEYNERD I was wondering if he came back too. Hopefully Katie will come back and let us know. If not, hopefully that will make her take the next step to get on with her life as I think everything was on hold while she was holding on to the little hope that it was just a misunderstanding and he would be back and explain why he couldn't call.
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 I have given up hope on him. He has not come back. I have decided to pick up and move on. I thank you all for the support that I recieved, but I think I am ok. I see him everywhere though. I have to pack up the rest of his clothes, and the rest of his things soon,but I can't bear to do that yet, because that means hes gone for good. I know I need 2 though, so I will one day soon. Things have started to look up here though, I got a job offer today. I will be working at wags dog daycare. So things are getting better, now at least I can pay my bills. It's ok hours 2. I will be home until for my girls to get off the bus, and I only have to work one weekend day a week. Still looking for a better paying job, but for now at least I can pay my car payment and my car insurance, and food. I'll also have a few dollars in my pocket. Once again thanks everyone for the support. Time for me to look on the good side of life. I have been trying to say a good thing every day. Yesterday it was that I am healthy. Today is he didn't take my girls. I think if he did that I would be dying literally.
Originally Posted By Yahtzee Nay Nay Katie, I am truly sad to hear that. I had hoped that he would be back and maybe there would be just a silly misunderstanding that you guys would laugh about years from now. You have your girls and that is the important thing. Take care of them and take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to seek out help if you need it. There are resources out there for you.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<I have to pack up the rest of his clothes, and the rest of his things soon,but I can't bear to do that yet, because that means hes gone for good.>> Don't feel that you need to do it right away. When the time is right you will want to. I couldn't do it until about six months after my Rosie died. Then the time was right and I was able to do it with relatively little pain. God bless you. Take care of your little girls... they of course come first.
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Originally Posted By Princessjenn5795 I am so sorry to hear that he didn't come back to you and your girls, but I am so happy to hear that you got a job and are moving on. Hang in there!
Originally Posted By KatieKate123 Thanks everyone. Oh and Disneydoger I know you are trying to get a rise out of me, and I even started to write you something back but its just not worth it anymore.
Originally Posted By iamsally I am sorry to hear this ending. Even if he was never to return; it would have been good to know what happened and maybe why. A job is definately a step in the right direction. My best to your little girls.
