Originally Posted By FaMulan This is true check this link <a href="http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/scams/809.htm" target="_blank">http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/ scams/809.htm</a> ----- Original Message ----- From: Charles To: Undisclosed-Recipient:; Sent: Tuesday, June 08, 2004 6:49 PM Subject: take a look Subject: 809 AREA CODE We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code. The woman said "Hey, this is Karen. Sorry I missed you--get back to us quickly. Have something important to tell you." Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. We didn't respond. Then this week, we received the following e-mail: Subject: DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809, 284 AND 876 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809 This one is being distributed all over the US. This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call. Be sure you read this and pass it on to all your friends and family so they don't get scammed! MAJOR SCAM: Don't respond to Emails, phone calls, or web pages which tell you to call an "809" area Phone Number. This is a very important issue of Scam Busters because it alerts you to a scam that is spreading *extremely* quickly, can easily cost you $2400 or more, and is difficult to avoid unless you are aware of it. We'd like to thank Verizon for bringing this scam to our attention. This scam has also been identified by the National Fraud Information Center and is costing victims a lots of money. There are lots of different permutations of this scam. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS: You will receive a message on your answering machine or your pager, which asks you to call a number beginning with area code 809. The reason you're asked to call varies. It can be to receive information about a family member who has been ill, to tell you someone has been arrested, died, to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc. In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls. If you call from the US, you will apparently be charged $2425 per-minute. Or, you'll get a long recorded message The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges. Unfortunately, when you get your phone bill, you'll often be charged more than $24,100.00. WHY IT WORKS: The 809 area code is located in the British Virgin Islands (The Bahamas). The 809 area code can be used as a "pay-per-call" number, similar to 900 numbers in the US. Since 809 is not in the US, it is not covered by U.S. regulations of 900 numbers, which require that you be notified and warned of charges and rates involved when you call a pay-per-call" number. There is also no requirement that the company provide a time period during which you may terminate the call without being charged. Further, whereas many U.S. homes that have 900 number blocking to avoid these kinds of charges, do not work in preventing calls to the 809 area code. We recommend that no matter how you get the message, if you are asked to call a number with an 809 area code that you don't recognize, just disregard the message. Be wary of e-mail, or calls, asking you to call an 809 area code number. It's important to prevent becoming a victim of this scam, since trying to fight the charges afterwards can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company You'll end up dealing with a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong. Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam. Sandi Van Handel AT&T Field Service Manager (920)687-904
Originally Posted By TiggerPooh1973 <<The 809 area code is located in the British Virgin Islands (The Bahamas).>> The writer of this doesn't have much geographical knowledge......the BVI is right next door to me down here in the Caribbean, it's a 45 minute ferry ride away, NOT the Bahamas! Also that is not the area code for the BVI, there country code is 284. 809 is the Dominican Republic. Up until......oh maybe 9 or 10 years ago....809 was our area code here in the USVI as well as Puerto Rico's area code. Anyway......I have heard this one before and it is true. But it is not all 809 area code numbers and the dollar amounts have been greatly exagerated.
Originally Posted By Labuda Bad news, Fa... I've done my usual and checked this out at Snopes.com ... turns out the Sears thing is 100 % TRUE! YAY SEARS!!!!
Originally Posted By FaMulan An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond out back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, etc. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women screamed out to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man calmly replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or see y'al get out of my pond naked. I only came to feed the alligator." Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.
Originally Posted By FaMulan >An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her >telephone failed to ring when her friends called -- and that on >the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned >right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded >to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. > >He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and >dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, >but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. > >Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: > >1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a > steel chain and collar. >2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. >3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the > phone number was called. >4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and > then urinate on himself and the ground. >5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the > phone to ring. > >Which demonstrates that some problems really CAN be fixed >merely by p******g and moaning.
Originally Posted By FaMulan One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep and the seamstress went home happy. Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and am not able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mel Gibson." The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story and we're sticking to it.
Originally Posted By FaMulan > The Red Head > > A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous > redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he > sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. > > Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its > socket towards the man. > > He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it > back. > > Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in > place. > > "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says. > > They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to > the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her > deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. > > After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come > to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. > > They had a wonderful, wonderful time. > > The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. > The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !! > > "You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice > to every guy you meet? " > > "No, " she replies. . . . . . . " > > > > Wait for it. . > > > It's coming. . > > > The suspense is killing you, isn't it? > > > > > > > She says : > > > > "You just happened to catch my eye. "
Originally Posted By FaMulan > THIS ONE IS FOR YOU LADIES! > > Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept > hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the > message never sank in. > > Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point. When my husband > arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily > snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. > > He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He = > was > gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a = > toothbrush. > "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep = > the > sidewalks" > > The doctors say he will probably live, but it will be quite awhile = > before > the casts will be off. >
Originally Posted By FaMulan Today is my daughter's 18th birthday..... I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month,year after year, those payments! So I called my daughter, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Sweetie, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face." So my daughter took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like. As my daughter walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy... and watch the expression on your face".
Originally Posted By FaMulan ORDERING PIZZA IN 2006 (in the US) Operator: "Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza. May I have your National Identification Number?" Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order." Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?" Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1946 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-6275. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 629-2302 and your cell number's 266-1222. Sheehans@ cox.net still your E-mail address. Which number are you calling from, sir?" Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir." Customer: "The HSS, what's that?" Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add onl! y 15 seconds to your ordering time" Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas." Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." Customer: "Whaddya mean?" Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your NHC provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "What NHC?!?! Operator: "Your National Health Care provider, sir." Customer: "Fine! What then do you recommend?" Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it." Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then." Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99." Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." Customer: "Then I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also." Customer: "Oh, never mind! JUST SEND THE PIZZAS. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash - but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?" Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed! . But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday" Customer: "Well, I'll be a son of a...". Operator: (Interrupting) "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh, I see that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?" Customer: (Speechless) Operator: "Okay, will there be anything else, sir?" Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of regular Coke". Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. So, we'll be seeing you in 45 minutes. Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza!"
Originally Posted By FaMulan > Men strike back! > > > > How many men does it take to open a beer? > > None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? > > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will > probably never be able to support you. > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why do women have smaller feet than men? > > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to > stand closer to the kitchen sink. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? > > When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > How do you fix a woman's watch? > > You don't. There is a clock on the oven. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why do men break wind more than women? > > Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required > pressure. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling > at the front door, who do you let in first? > > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? > > A woman who won't do what she's told. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > I married Miss Right. > > I just didn't know her first name was > Always. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex > drive by 90%. > > It's called a Wedding Cake. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Why do men die before their wives? > > They want to. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Women will never be equal to men > until they can walk down the street > > with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are > sexy. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. > Then God created Man and rested. > Then God created Woman. > > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the women who know >its a load of ****!
Originally Posted By FaMulan ITS ALL IN HOW YOU LOOK AT IT A group of blondes in a seniors' Math 101 class at Cal Tech were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. They went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures. However, they quickly fell off the ladders, dropped the tape measures and pencils -- the whole thing was just a mess. A freshman engineering student comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, then gives the measurement to one of the blondes as he silently walks away. After the engineering student had gone, one blonde turned to the others and laughed exclaiming, "Isn't that just like a dumb male engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"
Originally Posted By FaMulan COMMON WISDOM 1. Edited for adminable content. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said Implants?" She hit me. 4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast. 5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..." 6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here. 8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and ****head's. 11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect. 13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive. 14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president! and 50 for Miss America? 15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? 16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? 17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. 18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!" 19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"- 20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! 21. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk." 22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them. 23. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. 24. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? 25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 26. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said). 27. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. 28. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? 29. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR! 30. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. 31. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building? Bumper sticker of the year: If you can read this, thank a teacher.... and since it's in English, thank a soldier.
Originally Posted By Labuda "2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative." Ew, ew, ewwwwww!!!! I love the snowman bit, though! hehe
Originally Posted By TiggerPooh1973 Funny! It's missing my favorite one though.... "If it's tourist season, why aren't we allowed to shoot them?" Boy sometimes that would be nice.....
Originally Posted By FaMulan A house wife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "My dad's outside." Man: "OK, how much?" Boy: "$250." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mum's lover are in the closet together. Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "How much?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball. "The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says,"$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that stuff again"
Originally Posted By Labuda <<The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that stuff again">> ROFLMAO!!!!
