Originally Posted By Mary Poppins Inspector 57, You must be the sort of person who inspires people to confide in him! Perhaps you have too kindly a countenance. Who knows, you seem to draw people to you. I'm glad to hear you have the assertive skills to command you be left alone.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Well I57, I think you would love it here (I hate the british way about this stuff). It was not uncommon for me to go out the door, and if a neighbour sees me, it's usually just a nod hello. Get in the car and drive to the station. As you go into the crowded station, onto the platform and onto the train - no body smiles or communicates, or even likes (or I suspect respects) their fellow passengers, even though they may have been riding on the same train for years. You get into London, and it's magnified, with people getting angry if some one is walking slowly or gets in their way. Then you get to the office, and it is rare people chat (unless they are half drunk in an after work social). Then on the way home it is similar. I will tell you what, it was those behaviours when I was working in London that really depressed me and had me questioning whether life really mattered. what always perked me up was the tourists that got back from Disneyland Paris on the Eurostar and got on my train. The lost tourists on the underground that needed help. The stressed parent taking their kids into town for the first time. The excited families that were going home from a show, or the little old chatty lady. It is those connections that gave me air and made me feel life is worth while. I hate that life of the trains to London, they are a succubus of the soul. Add in rain, and cold, or huge heat and stink in the summer because of no a/c, and it means that people become callous shells of humanity. Personally I was looking for deliverance, and maybe now it has arrived.
Originally Posted By JazzCat Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with chatting for a few minutes. Unless he proposed marriage (or anything else!) in the 15 minutes (or however long) you sat together then I wouldn't have been concerned. That reminded me of when we had a meet at Southcenter Mall in Seattle one year. I hadn't met mele or iluvdland yet and had no idea what they looked like. A man kept staring at me and finally approached me with "are you meeting someone from online here?" I said yes but it turned out he was not an LP member. I do hope that the gentleman asked you if he may sit down before he joined you though!
Originally Posted By LuLu I57, that's a riot! I can't even imagine having all those conversations directed my way. Either I have an aloof countenance (which I will now consider a blessing!) or I truly don't get out much
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 Dave, I think you'll understand this... I meant everything I said in my post. Too many Americans are way too forward about getting into a stranger's face. Sometimes it's because they have emotional/mental issues. I'm sympathethic to that. Sometimes it's because they're just self-centered to the point of being oblivious or non-caring as to their effect on others. I'm not as sympathetic about that. But the situation you described in your Post #42 sounds horrible to me. I can't imagine such a cold society. I'm sorry you had to endure that. Either extreme is not good.
Originally Posted By TINK-MOBILE Cindy and I both often talk to strangers in the mall, usually off the cuff talks, in a line up some where or sometimes Cindy wears her I need a Hug to-day t-shirt, she gets alot of hugs, one time a gentleman and his wife were walking by us and read her shirt, the gentlemen asked cindy have you had it yet, cindy looked puzzled , she had forgotten about her t-shirt, she said had what...your hug of course, no Cindy said, well all around her broke out laughing in hysterics as the gentleman gave her a huge hug, his wife was laughing as were all, i must admit it was quite hillarious, Cindy said she was going to wear this t-shirt more often...ha ha ha, malls do have their predators though , as well as probally everywhere you go, they are out there, men and women, you just have to be aware of your surroundings, keep your sensory guard up ladies, fella's, not all is what it seems, you all are quite correct to follow the simple rules...especially if you are alone , your law enforcement teams have good info on what you should know, take care , have a great day...you have all done well so far, Mary you have a good head on your shoulders, your intution seems to be clocked right on, you will know , that lil voice speaking to you, is from God, listen well and you will be A o'kay...look forward to meeting you one day, maybe even in Disneyland, although our home is not to far from yours.....take care..smiles from the tink-mobile and Snow White...still can't get over that POOH dISNEY HUG t-shirt..IT WAS sure FUNNY ALRIGHT...: )
Originally Posted By TINK-MOBILE You all should carry a soccer referee's lil whistle...it has a good shrill, one time cindy received some scary phone calls, a few blows in the phone with the whistle, stopped them cold, nothing ever again....if we hear a knock outside some times , we keep our car keys bye us, we will click on the car alert...which sets off the horn of the tink-mobile...a good warning device....our neighbours know of this signal..one way we watch over each others homes, have had to use it a few times over the years....
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins Thanks for the tips, Tink. I'm glad you have neighbours that watch out for each other.
Originally Posted By beamerdog >>I hate that life of the trains to London, they are a succubus of the soul. Add in rain, and cold, or huge heat and stink in the summer because of no a/c, and it means that people become callous shells of humanity. Personally I was looking for deliverance, and maybe now it has arrived.<< I absolutely agree, Mary Poppins. Maybe it should be the start of a novel beginning with Dave's new venture!
Originally Posted By TINK-MOBILE Could be a TOP SELLER for sure, Dave does have an uncanning way about reaching an audience, he is very descriptive in many fields, takes great pictures which are good for all novels, looking forward to the First Publishers issue which i have dibs on firstly of course, signed with a gold marker by the Great Novelist he is.. Amen..
Originally Posted By MissCandice I fall in exactly with I57. I love a nice chat in a grocery line, I have no problem approaching someone who looks confused and helping them, I say hi to my neighbors when I see them, and greet people at work who I don't really know as we pass each other by in the hall BUT DARNIT-don't sit next to me in the lunchroom if I don't know you and start jabbering at me about all the crap in your life! Also, when I lived in San Diego I took public transportation a lot and although I was always reading a book someone would always start talking to me, with the horrible long drawn-out discussions. Every once in awhile it was a good conversation but usually it was stupid people going on and on and on about their stupid life. Anyhoo, that's my 2 cents.
Originally Posted By Sara Tonin I rode the same trolley for a time Miss C and what I found helpful was in addition to the book also having my headphones on. Then you don't seem so rude by ignoring them. And that would work most of the time...except for the folks wearing aluminium hats to keep the aliens from brainwashing them. Nothing works for them...not even the, "I'm so glad you sat by me, want to see a severed head?" trick....
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins I have never experienced what I-57 has in reserved Canada. In my experience, people are reserved and withdrawn on public transport. What a difference between the two countries.
Originally Posted By MissCandice <<<"I'm so glad you sat by me, want to see a severed head?" trick>>> LOL, I should have tried that. I would wear headphones too, but it would not stop some people. The last few times I was on the ferry by myself up here in Washington I've head a book, AND headphones and still got chatted to.
Originally Posted By Quiet Lurker >>would you talk to a stranger in a mall's lounging area?<< If I were a man, yes. If I were a woman, no.
Originally Posted By yekcim I'm a chatter myself. Why not chat? If I wasn't a chatter I would not be married to my hubby. I met my husband on the train going to/from work. I chatted with him here and there and one thing led to another.
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins yekcim, I'm all for chatting on a train or a bus. But in the lounge it just didn't feel right to me. I know someone who met her husband on skytrain and married after 4 months. He turned out to be obsessed with her and wouldn't allow her out of the house to visit someone lest it was a man. That's not saying that it didn't work out for you, I'm just saying 4 months is too short a period to know someone before marrying him. My friend thought his obsessive phone calls before the wedding were a sign that he really cared. My sister thought that there was a more sinister motivation behind the calls (on her cell phone).
