Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<///as long as the sex is a private act, not fornication and/or not same gender./// In other words western faiths would take issue with 98% of sex in the USA. LOL>> Ummm... not 98%! Believe it or not, there IS sex after marriage... to the one you're married to even...
Originally Posted By barboy2 ///there IS sex after marriage/// You bet......especially in barboy's marriage. I've been getting 10 fold more wearing a "ball and chain" than I did as a single.
Originally Posted By Dabob2 "Does a LITTLE guilt make sex more pleasurable? We all love our "Guilty Pleasures"... does a little bit of "naughtiness" make it just that much more fun?" Reminds me of the great Woody Allen line: "My therapist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I said 'It is if you do it right.'"
Originally Posted By mele I dunno...remember this is the country that took over 5 years of legal wrangling over whether or not to fine CBS over the airing of Janet Jackson's breast at the Super Bowl. I'm not even sure if it's resolved yet. And don't forget how any live tv shows were put on a delay in case any scary words or body parts happened.
Originally Posted By Inspector 57 <<I disagree with ecdc's "religious people have tremendous guilt and shame around sex". Western faiths almost never denounce sex or lace it with guilt, as long as the sex is a private act, not fornication and/or not same gender.>> By "Western faiths," I assume you mean Christianity. So my response is... WHAT?! You have got to be KIDDING!!! Many Christian sects are ALL about instilling guilt and shame around natural sexual expression. First of all, it IS a big deal that Christian sects "lace it with guilt" for same-gender-oriented people. That's just not natural, not fair, not right. I don't know how you define "fornication," so I can't comment on that. But they absolutely aren't adverse to applying sanctions to "private" sex, even among heterosexually-married couples, either. C'mon. The Catholic Church teaches that sex is for procreation ONLY. And Protestant churches are hardly leading the way with "50 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life" couples workshops. C'mon. Within Christianity, intercourse is treated as though it's a nasty necessity for propagating the religious family. You omitted mention of the whole Christian campaign against masturbation. To posit that Christianity is "sex-nuetral" is to ignore the million messages that Christianity has sent over the past few hundreds of years -- and CONTINUES to send. Christianity is an enemy of healthy sexual expression.
Originally Posted By DDMAN26 I was at a birthday party for my niece who just turned 13 and my sister was telling me they were having a talk about sex. My sister asked her if she knew what a virgin was. My niece replied someone from Virginia? Do you know how refreshing that is to have a kid that age still have some sort of innocence?
Originally Posted By Labuda Maybe it's refreshing from your POV, but it's also scary, considering that a LARGE number of kids she knows likely know damn well. If and when I am ever a parent, my child will be talked to about sex at the same age or so I was when I asked about it - 8...though they'll know about bad touching, etc long before then.
Originally Posted By Mr X I don't find that scary, I think what DD wrote was cool. Mrs X and I talked recently how different the "age of innocence" is in America compared to Japan these days (we were watching "sexy" videos of her cousins in America in an elementary school show, it was shocking and a little bit gross). Having said THAT, the little one is 7 and has no need for "sexual education" right now...(of COURSE she's aware of "bad touching" and all of that, goes without saying and we explained that all a couple of years ago in the midst of our "stranger danger" warnings). Aside from THAT, though, Ann if an when you are a parent, you might consider holding off. I have no right to say so, but I'm just giving you my opinion. Eight Years Old is ridiculously young, and I'm sorry you went through that at that age! Jeez...you learned about sex before Santa???? Maybe you were just incredibly precocious or something, but kids don't WANT to learn about that stuff until a few years later. At least until they are NEARING their teen years, I think. Please give your kids the benefit of childhood innocence for a WHILE before you tell them everything they DON'T want to know (til they're ready!)!!!! As for Little X (age just turned 7), she's happy enough not knowing for now until she's ready to ask about it (but we're on top of the issue whenever she becomes curious)...but she's well versed in stranger danger and that's enough, for now. Just my opinion, of course.
Originally Posted By Labuda "Eight Years Old is ridiculously young, and I'm sorry you went through that at that age! Jeez...you learned about sex before Santa???? Maybe you were just incredibly precocious or something, but kids don't WANT to learn about that stuff until a few years later. At least until they are NEARING their teen years, I think." Well, I knew Santa was a farce by the time I was 5 or 6... definitely by age 7. And, at age 8 is when I asked my Mom one afternoon how babies are made... she asked if I wanted the honest answer, I said yes, and so she told me. If that makes me precocious, so be it.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***Well, I knew Santa was a farce by the time I was 5 or 6... definitely by age 7. And, at age 8 is when I asked my Mom one afternoon how babies are made... she asked if I wanted the honest answer, I said yes, and so she told me. If that makes me precocious, so be it*** I'm no shrink, but yeah, I think that's fairly precious (also I think your Mom is one of the cooler Mom's out there!). Little X still believes in Santa, but she's wavering. I believed in Santa AND Jesus til I was 10 or so (go figure!).
Originally Posted By Mr X Also I would recommend AGAINST giving advice about parenting (either real or imagined)...it's all good, people do their best, there's no reason to assume one way is better than another (assuming natural patterns, of course)... It's not an exact science, it's more of an art-form. And I'll bet Ann and Darren will both make very fine parents if and when they want to.
Originally Posted By Dabob2 <Well, I knew Santa was a farce by the time I was 5 or 6... definitely by age 7. And, at age 8 is when I asked my Mom one afternoon how babies are made... she asked if I wanted the honest answer, I said yes, and so she told me. If that makes me precocious, so be it.> That was pretty much what happened with me. I knew there was no "stork" from a very early age, as I knew that women got pregnant and that's where babies came from. But I had no idea the man had anything to do with it; I thought women just spontaneously got pregnant x-number of times in their lives (different numbers for different women). I don't remember exactly how old I was, but probably around 8 or 9, when all of a sudden the idea that kids looked like their dads made sense to me. I understood why they'd look like their moms; they came out of their moms. But not their dads. So that's how I posed the question to my mom. My mom is from Missouri - pretty Baptist but also pretty common-sense; her attitude was that if the kid is old enough to wonder, he's old enough to get the straight answer (and if he's wondering, he's only going to ask his schoolmates about it, and might not get exactly the right answer). So she told me. It made sense (and suddenly, so did some of the jokes I'd heard the older kids making on the playground).
Originally Posted By Dabob2 Sorry... when all of a sudden the idea the kids looked like their dads did NOT make sense to me (and I needed to find out why).
Originally Posted By SingleParkPassholder "Well, I knew Santa was a farce by the time I was 5 or 6... definitely by age 7." Santa is NOT a farce! I don't know who keeps spreading these lies but I'm here to tell you he's REAL! REAL I say!
Originally Posted By Princessjenn5795 Last year when my son was 7 he asked me how babies get into mommies tummies. I felt it was important to give him an honest, if very basic, answer. I would much rather he learn the truth from me than from some kid at school who just found out. Like Dabob's mom, I felt that if he was old enough to ask the question he was old enough to get the answer.
Originally Posted By Mr X ***But I had no idea the man had anything to do with it; I thought women just spontaneously got pregnant x-number of times in their lives (different numbers for different women)But I had no idea the man had anything to do with it; I thought women just spontaneously got pregnant x-number of times in their lives (different numbers for different women)*** Interestingly, Dabob grew up with the perspective of a fish! I always KNEW you were weird, dude!
Originally Posted By Mr X ***I felt that if he was old enough to ask the question he was old enough to get the answer*** Agreed with that 100%! When she asks, I'll answer (OR, if it's a tough question, I'll ask her Mom for her opinion first and we'll answer together)... The most recent tough question has been "why is America killing so many people?", though... Any advice on THAT one???? (we're flummoxed)
Originally Posted By Lisann22 I asked and got the straight answers about how babies were made around age 5. I then proceeded to educate all my littler cousins about the "spiders and eggs." <rolling eyes> I think there is a big difference about discussing "how babies are made and body parts" at a younger age and having a frank talk about sex at say ages anywhere from about 8 to 12. For me they are completely different conversations. I was ready or well kind of ready to comprehend baby making very young but I would not have grasped sex and my body at that age. I've seen kids behavior at 7 and 8 and thought holy cow get that kid a safe sex packet pinned to their sweater NOW and I've seen completely unaware and not interested 11 year olds, who if you had that talk would probably curl in a ball and cry. It's all about the emotionally maturity of each individual in my opinion. I was raised Christian and no subject was off limit in our house when you were ready. Nothing - from either parent. They were extremely open and very forthright.
Originally Posted By fkurucz "Santa is NOT a farce! I don't know who keeps spreading these lies but I'm here to tell you he's REAL! REAL I say!" His grave is believed to be in Bari, Italy, though the Turkish government insists that its in Turkey.
