Originally Posted By mater4 Unfotunately not everyone is considerate of others and would respect their "alone time".
Originally Posted By momof4boys I agree that I would try to get her not to come. I would tell her this trip is all about the friend you invited and EVERYTHING will be centered around how to make a magical trip for her and that you will be calling the shots about what you will be doing. That way if she still ends up coming and then complaining you can tell her, " Hey, I told you up front how it was going to be." But depending on her personality, that might not make any difference. You might even tell her since she has other opportunities to go, she probably would enjoy a trip a different time. We are going to DL this summer. It will have been 2 1/2 year since we have been there. We have several people who have asked to go at the same time- my brother and family, my single sister, her single friend, maybe another friend of hers and kids, my friend and teenage daughter. I have told ALL of them, "That is fine, but we are going to be very selfish this trip. We are going to do things our way. I will let you all know our plans and you are welcome to tag along at any time but we are going to eat where we want to eat, ride want we want to ride, etc." They are all completely fine with those conditions and it has decreased a lot of my stress about the trip.
Originally Posted By liveforvacations Good job momof4boys. I think in situations like this, you just have to be honest and trust that people have the maturity to be understanding. Unfortunately, in this situation I don't think it will work if the friend comes along because her behaviour sounds a little more obnoxious than just inflexible. At least by being honest about why you don't want someone along with as little criticism as possible, they have the opportunity to gain a little insight. I don't like the idea of putting them off until they finally get the hint because in my experience, these people usually lack insight. Then they will come up with an entirely different reason themselves and still be hurt but probably not talk to you about it and it will become something even bigger.
Originally Posted By Brrfam Or...you could change the dates of your trip and not tell them.... Or...tell them Disney WORLD... All kidding aside, if your friend can't understand and respect your feelings...maybe not such a good friend after all.
Originally Posted By finallygettogotodl I am the friend that was INVITED to join on this trip. I talked to the other friend yesterday and tried some of the things people here recommended. I told her I AM going to GK and if she didn't want to go it was fine we could meet up after. She continued to bad mouth GK and what a horrible place it is to eat. I know she will end up going on this trip no matter how hard we try to change her mind. So, I hope once we get there the spirit of being in DL will slap her and she'll change her attitude. I need to make this trip as memorable for my daughter as possible. Last time she was in DL she was 2 and we were only there for 3 hours!!! Can you believe that!!! Before that the only time I went was when I was 2. So, her and I have been DL deprived!!!!!!
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains This is really simple to me (only because I lived the trip from h*** in sept with a *friend*) Tell her this trip is not for her and if she would like to plan another adult trip (I am just assuming she has no kids since none were mentioned) that would be great and you would love to go - but this trip is just about your girl and you want her to plan it and do everything the way she wants - and you don't think it would be a fun trip for the buttinsky...
Originally Posted By mater4 I will add that if you want this trip to be memorable don't let this lady tag along at all or you will regret it. If she makes plans to go anyway at the same time let her know that this is your trip and she will not be welcome to tag along. You are not required to accomadate someone who rudely invites herself. Also don't discuss your plans with this friend or you might get a surprise guest.
Originally Posted By ShivaThDestroyer There are times that it just sucks to be a nice person. I would love to be the kind of person that could go up to someone and say, "(name inserted here) I really like you and I don't want to lose your friendship but Disneyland is very special to me. It means something totally different for you. I need to enjoy DL in my own way in order to feel *the magic*. I'm very sorry but, as much as I like you, I can't do that when you are there with me." ...but of course I could never say that. I would probably come up with some little white lie and then feel miserable for not being able to tell the truth.
Originally Posted By Amynleroy OH MY!... gottaluvdavillians - I am scared! We have already laid down that we are all finding our own ways down, each have own rooms and I have told the invited friend aka "finallygettogotodl" her trip needs to be all about her...if there is something I want to pass up...DO IT! dont pass too just because I Pass. We have talked about letting each of our girls pick 1 or 2 things that they want to do together each day and we can do them first then if we slpit up it's ok! I have been to DL a ton of times and I want her to do EVERYTHING that she wants to do! If friend still shows up (with her 5 yr old) to DL, we have agreed that the plan is still the same... meaning- this is the plan join us or do your own thing! ALSO - NO Snotty attitudes! Your "Dreams" cant come true if you dont deserve it. BTW- I havent had a "dream come true" YET!!! Or- we will tell her the wrong park! j/k Thanks for all of your ideas! and Please welcome finallygettogotodl she finally signed up!
Originally Posted By Shiva >>Please welcome finallygettogotodl she finally signed up!<< inallygettogotodl, a very warm welcome to LP, as you may have noticed, we're sort of a family here and are always happy when someone like you becomes part of that family. Now go over to Community and introduce yourself so you can meet the rest of the gang. : )
Originally Posted By Pollyana yes, welcome finallygetogo. This is a great place and full of fun, laughs, and very good information. And, if you plan your trips in a timely manner, you may meet up with other LPers at Dland. I am still working on that!
Originally Posted By mickeynewe I'm a person that has a hard time saying, "no". I had one experience that changed that tho. We had some 'friends' invite themselves along on our vacation. We drove down, they flew. We were supposed to call when we got to the hotel (GCH) since we were driving and they would already be there. We checked in, called, and got their hotel room. We walked over to the room where they answered the door and they said they were "too tired" and were going to go later that afternoon. BUT, guess who was dressed and ready to go? Yep, their kid. Well, I honestly didn't mind. She looked about in tears at the thought of having to stay in the room. We arranged the time they were <supposed> to meet up with us. Again, 2 hours late. At which point I stopped waiting. It was like that the whole week. We pretty much had their kid the entire time, which I didn't mind except I was torqued because I didn't sign up for being a babysitter for my whole trip. I got the extreme notion that this was "planned" on their part and I thoroughly disliked being taken advantage of. BUT, I knew if I didn't take the little girl each day she would be stuck in a hotel room and I just couldn't do it to her. Oh, of course I had to pay for everything too. I didn't have the heart to buy something for my daughter and leave the other little girl out, she would have felt horrible. Not once did the parents try to contribute, or even ask if they could perhaps buy us lunch for all we had done (or for all the food we had bought for their daughter)...on the very few times we saw them. At the end, they also expected us to take back all their purchases, included a really nice piece of framed artwork from the gallery because they didn't want to pay the extra airline charges. It really taught me that I am not ever going to feel obligated to allow someone to self-invite themselves on my trips again. We go to DL a lot with family & friends, but always with the agreement that no one is ever tied to the other. Most times we do all stick together, but if anyone ever wants to do something other than what the other family wants to do-- absolutely no hard feelings! We just all meet up later to enjoy each other's company. Also-- one big rule-- no WHINING in Disneyland! Good luck-- and don't let ANYONE spoil your Disneyland vacation for you!
Originally Posted By Amynleroy <Also-- one big rule-- no WHINING in Disneyland! > Just made me think of a trip I had taken a while back and standing in line for Splash Mountain was this dad and 3 VERY tired kids Whining about EVERYTHING! and the out of ideas dad hollered out "this is the happiest place on earth and Damnit everyone better get happy!"
Originally Posted By finallygettogotodl That's hilarious amynleroy! It is the happiest place on earth! And I can't wait! So, just a heads up to everyone following our little problem here. I am emailing our friend a plan for the trip and basically putting it as these are the plans enjoy them or do your own thing. AmynLeroy and I have come to the conclusion there is no ditching this friend so this is our alternative. It's funny cuz I've known this friend for along time and never invited her to our family cabin cuz I knew she wasn't a "cabiny" type of person but she goes to DL every year! Who woulda thought!!!! Wish us luck.
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains OOOOHHHH there you go tell her you are going to the cabin instead!!!
Originally Posted By sherrytodd Tell her you're going for a week long wilderness survival course and will be out of cell phone range.
Originally Posted By Pollyana I hope the other "friend" is not reading all this stuff. You may be for quite a surprise. Keep thinking good thoughts and you will find a nice and courteous way to tell her NO!
Originally Posted By gottaluvdavillains Hmmm if the other friend is reading it - what makes you think she would now it was about her...And if she did realize it would that really be that bad - maybe it would wake her up
Originally Posted By finallygettogotodl I can almost guarentee the other friend is not reading this. I didn't know of this site til AmynLeroy told me about it and the other friend doesn't know either. But you are right gottaluvdavillians. I think we are just hoping that everything will work out good. And we won't have to post a horrible story on here about our trip. We hope our friend will be a joy to have along with us. I sure am getting nervous I feel like there's so much to do in so little time. I can't wait. I think we're down to 70 days!
