Originally Posted By Labuda Make me! (oh, and technically, my desk is in a corner, BUT I have the biggest cubicle in the building (bigger even than the CIO's upstairs), so I'm ok with it.
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight Labuda,how dare you! How dare you want to learn about other cultures/religions and expand your mind! Don't you know if you keep an open mind,your brain will fall out?
Originally Posted By Lady Starlight FYI, I know some people who don't ever have to worry about THAT happening! ;-)
Originally Posted By Labuda "Labuda,how dare you! How dare you want to learn about other cultures/religions and expand your mind! Don't you know if you keep an open mind,your brain will fall out?" Yeah, I have this thing where I want a nice wrinkled brain. It rested for too many years and I love that I'm expanding it again. As for the cubicle envy - sorry, ladies, but I've spent a long time sucking up to the right people to have two of the largest cubes here combined into one.
Originally Posted By Labuda <--- counts among her prized possessions the BIG box of Crayons that she got a few years ago... it has the crayon sharpener and everything! Most all of the crayons still have a crayon smell AFAIK, so you can have one of mine if Klucky's little ones have used all of hers!
Originally Posted By SFH There's a larger question here. I'm not going to pry, Labuda - your personal goals and views don't have to be on display here. But what is your worldview and what is his? What are you main priorities in a partner? (I'm not asking you to tell us.) Obviously, Islam is a part of his worldview, but not so much so that he will refrain from dating a non-Muslim. Dating and being "a couple" is different from being married. Often (not always), after marriage, and with kids, someones religion (even if that religion is atheism) becomes much more important to them, and conflicts arise. Religion usually involves more than a book or holidays... it can help shape priorities in how you spend time and money, how you handle a crisis, how you handle illness, how you treat others, etc. There are plenty of stories out there, and you can probably find an autiobographical book to this effect, of non-Muslim women marrying Muslim men (sometimes after the women have converted) and then the religion becomes a larger issue and a nightmare ensues. Please note that I'm not saying Islam is bad or wrong. I'm just saying from the perspective of these women, things went horribly wrong. Some people look at a person's religion as akin to the clothing style the person wears, or what flavor ice cream they like - and for some people, that's what it amounts to. But like I said, things often change in this area after you have moved in together/married/had kids. I had a great friendship and romance with a lady with a different worldview than mine. But ultimately, I realized marriage would be far different. By the time it was over, we had bonded to the point where breaking up was extremely painful. I later found a lady who not only had a compatible view of "life, the universe, and everything", but we were compatible in other ways as well and had chemistry. The rest is history. I wish you well!
Originally Posted By Labuda SFH, first - thank you for the well wishes. So far, we've yet to find anything that we really disagree on, but I'm sure the time will come when we start finding differences. I'm keeping an eye out for that time and hoping that whatever it is will be something we can work through because, in all honesty, the little bit I know about Islam so far is kind of appealing to me - except the way women dress in Islamic countries. I like to show a little cleavage. Seriously, though, I'm aware that him being Muslim and me Christian could cause issues down the line, but for now, he's just really glad that I have a pretty strong belief in God - he doesn't necessarily want a woman who's a member of Islam, but he does want one who believes in God. I think he also likes that I read the Bible a bit every day (shhhh, don't tell any Conservatives that a Socialist does that!). Anyhow, I'm well aware that dating and marriage are two very different things. I learned that the first time around - dating is different from living together and both are, of course, quite different from marriage. Funny thing is, when we were hanging out Sunday morning, I mentioned a party I'll be going to in May and then worried about mentioning something that far in the future, but last night he mentioned his boss' boss wanted him to move to California and he asked if I had any interest in moving out there. Color me SHOCKED. But, having learned the lesson the hard way about falling too fast for someone and paying for it later the response was that I love Austin and don't want to leave, not the yes that I would have been tempted to give if my ex-husband had asked me that 11 years ago when we first met. Anyhow, I do wonder now what would happen if we were married and his daughters came to live with us - i.e., would he expect me to stay home and raise them, or would he be cool with me still working since that's what I want to do (though I admit that I'd love to work in theatre again). As far as books about it - yeah, I'm sure I could find stories where things went horribly wrong, but OTOH, you can find anything if you look hard enough. All I know is that Imran is a complete gentleman, and if he ever proposes we move in or get married, then we'll have the chat about his daughters will be raised and what he could see my role as. I'll be darned if I give up a 10+ year career just to live with a dude, though. That's for sure. Anyhow, thanks again for your input and the well wishes. This is, of course, still early on in the relationship. I'm just glad that information on Islam is pretty easy to find.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Ann, I am totally rooting for you on this one. And happy to talk about Islam, most of the teachings are excellent. The key thing in Islam is the belief in god, and just as Christians accept converted jews (or at least respect them if respected back), many muslims I know view Christianity in a similar way.
Originally Posted By Labuda Yeah, one thing that makes me happy is that Islam believes there is one God, and that's the same belief I hold - that the God I grew up learning about is the same God everyone else who's a member of a monotheistic religion learns about. We just don't all call him by the same name. As for conversion - hold up! I'm not anywhere near ready to consider such a thing, what with about 17 years of Catholicism followed by 18 years of agnosticism and (courtesy of basic math) a little less than 2 years as a "plain vanilla" (i.e., not Catholic) Christian, I'm not quite ready to consider calling God by the name Allah, though I do want to say "a salaam alaikum" to Imran next time I talk to him. And, of course, that's spelled phonetically since I don't know how to properly write that phrase in our alphabet. Anyhow, to all once again: Never fear - I am going into this with my eyes as wide open as possible. I'm just freaking out that he drinks and gambles. Bad Muslim! Bad, bad, bad! hehe
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo I never said you were. It is just great to discuss theology. I love it.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo Jews, Christians and Muslims can be Masons. Sadly hindu, buddhists, agnostics and athiests cannot
