Originally Posted By cstephens When it comes to regular doors (building, market, etc.), I will hold doors for anyone who's close, and sometimes, I'll hold it longer or go back to open it for someone who might be carrying something. Gender doesn't make a difference for me. I expect that someone reasonably in front of me will hold the door open for me just out of common courtesy. In some cases, if it's a man, they will let me through first, which I don't expect, but I will say thank you. As for my husband, we've been together for almost 9 years (married for almost 7), and when we're getting into the car, he always opens and closes the door for me unless I waive him away because we're in a hurry or it's going to take me a while to get in or it's raining or something else like that. It's not that I'm incapable of opening it, but it's a sweet gesture on his part that I appreciate. I never asked him to do it - he's been doing it since we first started going out. If I'm driving, then no, he doesn't open and close my door. If he was with a female friend, and I was picking them up, he would usually open her door for her as well. The only time I sit in the car and wait for him to open the door before I get out is if I happen to have something on my lap that makes getting out myself difficult. Then he'll come open the door, take the thing off my lap, and then I'll get out myself. I know some people think it's weird that he opens the car door for me. I'm just used to it, but I certainly don't take it for granted. /cs
Originally Posted By bloona I dont expect to have a car door opened for me. But i get so mad at people letting shop doors close in my face, especially when I have the stroller. I ALWAYS hold doors open for people in shops, and if Im feeling particularly peeved at someone showing no sign of thanks for my kindness, I'll say "youre welcome!" in my most sarcastic voice as they pass!...lol. The money thing, we have a joint bank account anyway, so when we go out for a meal,I dont often take my purse. I think it is nice you opening the door though peeaanuut, might get jealous now! "Oi Mr Bloona.......how come you have never done that??????????"
Originally Posted By Autopia Deb My Brother in Law gets the car door for my sister all the time, and for my mother as well. When I'm visiting he will often get it for me, even my own car door when I'm driving. When my son visits them during vacation, BiL makes it a point to teach my son to do the same. Poor kid, he's expected to get the door for Mom (and other women) while he's visiting Auntie and Uncle, but isn't when it's just the 2 of us (unless I'm carrying stuff). He does hold doors to restaraunts and the like open for groups of people, which gets him complements on his manners (if they could only see him at home, lol).
Originally Posted By ajnhollysmommy my hubby always opens the door for me. Andrew does it too. I always have my hands full of stuff, maybe that is one reason LOL I do feel special when they go out of there way to open the door
Originally Posted By chickendumpling I don't think it's "odd" that you open the door peeaanuut. I think its wonderful. I wish everyone did it, but that's just me. I'm actually pretty old-fashioned in my ways of thinking on some things and that is one of them. lol. I know some girls who would actually get mad if a guy opened a door for them. Not me though. LOL. I work with a couple of guys who are in their early 50's and they ALWAYS open doors for me. It is so sweet. I used to date a guy who was like that too. Opened doors for me all over the place. LOL. This is probably gonna sound stupid to everyone but it made me feel pretty. Like I was his girl and he was gonna take care of me. Stupid, I know. But like I said I have real "old-fashioned" ideas about some stuff. Anyway, I think it is nice.
Originally Posted By DlandJB #21 cstephens -- this is exactly the case for me. Doug is wonderful about opening the car door. It was something I had to get used to, because it was new to me, but I like it. I also will hold open a regular door if I get there first. Generally entering an elevator, if I am the only woman, I watch the body language of the men to see if they expect me to get on first. Older men tend to step back and I don't want to seem impolite, especially in business, and because I deal with people from many different cultures at work, I generally follow the more traditional etiquette.
Originally Posted By LacyBelle Like cstephens and DlandJB, my DH always opens doors for me. We've been together almost 12 years. It took me some time to get used to as I wasn't accustomed to it in my prior dating experience, but he was taught to do so when he was growing up. I think it's sweet. I let myself out of the car, but he always lets me in. Well, except when I'm driving -- I'm not sure why, though. Just a different orientation and approach to the car, I guess. I have come to expect the chivalry and stand waiting for him (which my mother sometimes criticizes, but I think she's just jealous). ;-P If I'm out without DH, I am more than capable of getting the door in mixed company and will hold it open for others. I guess I just don't expect that other men will open and hold the door, but am always pleased when they do. I just appreciate the sweet gesture when DH takes care of it for me. Like ChickieD stated, I am just an old-fashioned girl in that respect.
Originally Posted By jdub >>is that just too odd now adays?<< It seems now that good manners are always odd-- --but always gracious.
Originally Posted By berol I hold doors open if it helps the flow. I'll take over if anyone has been holding it for awhile so they can catch up to their bunch. I don't open car doors much anymore with automatic locks. I could throw her to whatever bad guy is laying in wait in the back seat, tho. One time a woman I didn't know got to a door a couple of steps before me, but stopped and waited. It was kinda awkward and strange, but I walked by here and opened the door for her cuz otherwise neither of us were gonna get in that building! hehe
Originally Posted By 999HAUNTS I will probably get slammed on this, but "here goes..." I think it is absolutely rude for a guy not to open or hold a door open for a gal. Period. The men in my family would never dream of letting a gal enter any place after them. I could be a date, or mother, or sister, or mother-in-law. It's a sign of respect that has been buried in today's society. People are way too busy, or way to self absorbed it seems. All of my uncles hold the door - no matter what. They will stand by the door and wait until all of the women have entered a restaurant, movie theater, mall..whatever. They were all taught that this is a form of respect, and it is demeaning to walk through a door before a lady. They were taught to help bring in groceries, help fold laundry, help put away dishes...just help. This doesn't mean that the gal can sit on her keester and let the man work all day AND take care of the house..but a little attention to what the gal is juggling goes a long, long way in my family. Especially when both the man and the woman work. If that is old fashioned, so be it. Now, about the paying thing....I completely agree that if you make the invitation, you should be prepared to foot the bill unless it is previously discussed that the event is "dutch".
Originally Posted By peeaanuut I agree, accept the laundry thing. I hate doing laundry and Jayna says I screw it up. So I just let her go at it. lol
Originally Posted By Ursula ^ Yes, but knowing you, you probably tend to the cars or something else to balance it out.
Originally Posted By peeaanuut oh boy do I. I just rotated her tires, changed the oil, AC filter, radiator hoses, installed her intake, added strut tower bars (last 2 were my idea lol) and installed her amp and sub. The only thing I wont do is wash her car.
Originally Posted By Pixie Glitter I love it when men open a door for me. That said, I never expect them to get out of the car first and dash around to open my car door for me when we're getting out of the car. . .that just seems a bit silly. (I am not criticizing men who do this, by the way. It just doesn't seem very practical). But when getting into the car, especially when I'm wearing a dress, it is a very nice gesture to have the car door opened for me. As far as building doors go, I'm a big fan of people of either sex holding doors for others of either sex, especially when the others are carrying stuff, pushing a stroller or wheelchair, physically challenged, etc. I find it both amusing and very touching that my 8yo son is one of the most ardent door holders I have ever known. I don't recall us telling him in the first place that holding the door for ladies is polite, but it obviously must have been mentioned at some point when he was very young. Because ever since he was about three or four, he has always, ALWAYS dashed ahead to open the door for me, his sister, or any random women who happen to be near the door. The poor little guy sometimes could barely heave the door open, but dadgum it, he was going to get that door open or die trying! When he was littler, I became quite adept at stealthily slipping behind him and giving him a little unseen help in opening the really heavy doors. Another hazard of his chivalry when he was younger was the fact that he would bowl over any hapless bystander who happened to be between him and a door that a lady was approaching. We had to gently explain that although opening doors for ladies is very mannerly and polite, it rather negates the chivalry when you knock someone down on your way to the door.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>We had to gently explain that although opening doors for ladies is very mannerly and polite, it rather negates the chivalry when you knock someone down on your way to the door.<< LOL!
Originally Posted By Lisann22 What all that blathering Litter said really means is... Poor little Glitter2 has had to go everywhere his mother goes to open her doors for her while sounding a trumpet and throwing rose pedals on the ground.
Originally Posted By debtee Hmmm this is a good topic! Barry still opens the door for me after 16 years of marriage. It's just the way he is, it comes naturally to him to be chivalrous and he automatically opens doors for me and for any lady in his presence. I love it! In fact I'm so used to it now it took this topic for me to realise that some people just don't do that!
Originally Posted By friendofdd I guess I've never realized it was optional. I have always been a door opener for others. I sometimes am non-plussed when a building door is so heavy to push that I need to step through first in order to hold it open, but I do it. I've never even stopped to think about opening the car door for DW, which I've been doing going on 48 years, including our courtship time.
