Originally Posted By smedley I can't really add a lot to the already great advice that's been given here. Perhaps the wife could seek the advice of her own medical professional about how she would have him committed? I know it's a complex procedure over here, so would imagine it would be similar for you guys. Sending you lots of big keep safe hugs, keep us updated so we know you're ok please! {{{{jasmine7}}}}
Originally Posted By jasmine7 Hi, all. Another morning, and everything's still quiet. I didn't hear from him yesterday, and it's been nearly 48 hours since I've heard anything from him, so maybe having the officer talk to him scared some sense back into him. I did change my phone number this morning to an unlisted number, and it will go into effect tonight. I just got home from filing for a restraining order. I have to call them back at 3pm Central to see if my order has been signed. I know it's stupid, but there's a part of me that's feeling guilty and scared for filing it. I know I shouldn't because he's in the wrong & I have to protect myself, but at the same time, a part of me fears this will make him more upset. For those of you who have been through this sort of thing, do you have to attend the hearing? The sheet that they gave me with the phone number to call says that my copy of the order will include my hearing date. I really don't want to have to face him again, but it sounds like I may have to. Thank you all again for your wonderful advice and care. It means so much to me, and I'll let you know what I find out this afternoon. P.S. Chickie, I did get your email. I'm sorry I haven't written you back yet, but I was just so exhausted yesterday and ended up sleeping most of the day. I'll try to write you back tonight, but I just wanted you to know I got it.
Originally Posted By LacyBelle Thanks for keeping us posted, jasmine. It does sound like the visit from the police helped the situation. However, you are still doing the right thing in taking extra precautions. I don't think you should feel bad about filing the restraining order at all. You need to do what is best for you -- for your protection. Remember....he caused this to happen, not you. I realize that there is mental illness involved and he may not be fully aware, but his actions have put you in the position of having to protect yourself. Good thoughts will continue to be with you. This is an amazing community.
Originally Posted By RAM1984 Yeah, I know how this sort of thing can make one feel guilty but I am sure you know you did the right thing. You have to protect yourself. Good wishes still headed your way. Just a thought: when I find myself in a situation where someone else is threatening or hurting me; I pray for them. It always makes me feel better.
Originally Posted By JazzCat Ditto what LacyBelle said. It's a family member and I understand how you could feel guilty. You did it for your own protection and whether or not he's capable of understanding it, he's still responsible if he disobeys it. Rest easy and know what you did was right. (((((jasmine)))))
Originally Posted By 4Disnee You poor thing that is so stressful. We keep you in our thoughts and send you lots of hugs and love your way. Please keep us posted.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I'm glad you are following through with changing your phone number and getting the restraining order. I don't know what the procedure is with that but I'm sure you'll find out soon. These steps show him that you aren't going to be a victim and hopefully he'll back off. Don't feel guilty, you are just being smart and protecting yourself. You are in my thoughts.
Originally Posted By Labuda Just now getting to this thread. I'm sorry you're going through this, Jasmine, but kudos to you for getting the law involved and keeping yourself as safe as you can!
Originally Posted By chickendumpling Jasmine ~ I'm so glad to hear you had another quiet day and that you are following through with everything. I know this is a very scary and stressful time but hang in there and stick with it. Your safety and your peace of mind has to be your #1 priority. *hugs* P.S. Thanks for letting me know you got my e-mail but please don't worry about returning it. I'm there if and when ya need me.
Originally Posted By sherrytodd <<For those of you who have been through this sort of thing, do you have to attend the hearing? The sheet that they gave me with the phone number to call says that my copy of the order will include my hearing date. I really don't want to have to face him again, but it sounds like I may have to. >> This is the way it worked in Colorado, but I don't know if it is the same everywhere. You don't have to go to court to get a temporary restraining order, but if you want it permanent you do have to attend a hearing where he can contest it. He will be in the same courtroom as you. If you feel unsafe, you can request an officer to escort you to and from the courthouse. It is pretty nerve-wrecking, but it gives you more ammunition. If he violates the restraining order and tries to contact you, even if he's not threatening you, then you can have him arrested. Hang in there. My email is in my profile if you need anything.
Originally Posted By chickendumpling Just wanted to check in and let you know I was thinking about you. Hope you are well. (((Jasmine)))
Originally Posted By LacyBelle I was thinking about you this morning, jasmine. I hope all is continuing to go well.
Originally Posted By jasmine7 **hugs** Thank you, guys. Things have been very quiet, thankfully. I was issued a temporary restraining order on Monday, and I have to appear in court next Thursday, the 26th, to make it permanent. I'm nervous about seeing him, but at least my mom will be in town and can go with me for support. I hope they let her into the hearing, too. I'm so thankful that things are starting to go back to normal. I'm still a little leery at night and have been sleeping in the living room with the TV on, but hopefully, I'll feel comfortable enough to return to my bed soon. Thank goodness for my dog and cat! I'd go crazy if they weren't around. I was babysitting my parents' dogs last week when this all went down, and when I returned home Sunday from my grandparents' house, they were all so exhausted. They were on alert Saturday, watching over me, and when I was more relaxed Sunday, they just zonked out. Little Ginger, the youngest at about 7 months old, just crashed hard. She's usually so energetic and bouncy, but she spent all Sunday, curled up in the crook of my arm, sleeping on her back. It was just so precious! Thank you all again. I don't know what I'd do without you all and LP. I'll definitely keep you updated on what happens in the next few days. **hugs**
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I'm really glad that things are looking up. Again, good for you for holding your ground and not changing your mind about the restraining order because things have been quiet. Have a wonderful day and weekend. Your fuzzy friends sound adorable
Originally Posted By nevadarebel glad to hear that things have calmed down and I too am glad to see you posting so we know that you are ok. I can just picture your babies protecting you and then just crashing when they know you have relaxed a little. It is amazing how they feel that something is wrong.
Originally Posted By jasmine7 Thanks, all. Still getting along pretty quietly. Tomorrow's the hearing, and I'm a little nervous and jumpy tonight. My mom doesn't think her brother will actually show up tomorrow. I hope she's right. It would make things so much easier and so much less stressful. I hope I can get a good night's sleep tonight. I want to sleep in bed, but I'm jumpy, so I plan on sleeping in the living room, just in case he should show up here tonight and try something. I'll be sure to let you all know what happens tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that it all goes well. **hugs**
