Originally Posted By Lisann22 It just takes time. I lost a very close uncle, my grandpa and my dad all within a year of eachother. It was just so devastating. On New Year's Day I lost my second uncle, we were so worried about my grandma because she is 84 and frail as she was in the hospital over the Chrismas holiday, this is her son, my mom's brother. She has now lost both her sons and the saddest part is my aunt is also going to pass this year, she is in the final stages of liver disease. I don't know how much my grandma can bare, losing three children and a son-in-law of 42 years. But she is amazing. We had a tough time of it last week but emotionally her spirits are up this week. It's very difficult when people from within your age bracket and siblings start to pass. It brings on the reality of your own mortality. I'm praying for your mom and you LuLu. Take care of yourself mentally and physically too!
Originally Posted By LuLu Thanks Lisa and Kira. My mom is 82 but has been healthy, tho I guess if I saw her now she'd seem frail! Hugs to you and your family too, Lisa! Fortunately I've learned how to take good care of myself. Being sensitive, I'd be sick or burnt out a lot if I didn't! Things were calm last Friday so I took the afternoon off and went to the beach. Very rejuvenating!
Originally Posted By LuLu Update: They *finally* closed my mom last evening, after 10 days of open wound with painful dressing changes. Now she should be off the morphine soon and moved to rehab (sis and I are insisting on it - Mom wanted to go home!). Mom is again resisting the retirement home idea, but we have lots of support from the medical staff that it's the way to go. At least one of the places she was considering will adjust the level of assistance needed without her having to move from her (hopefully soon-to-be) new apartment. My sis got a lot of info from the surgeon last night, and one thing she learned was that it will likely be 3 months before Mom is back to normal abilities. I'll probably be postponing my trip out and trying to coordinate with the end of her rehab, helping her decide what she wants to move, and getting her settled in an apartment. My goal is to help her decide "where" before my sister leaves Tuesday, so sis can run around paperwork and deposit and Mom will have a definite place to move to after I arrive! Thanks again for your concern, all!
Originally Posted By avromark I've been busy but good luck Lulu. Lisann etc. It's nice to see that everyone can support each other. I myself have an elderly uncle (grandfather aged) who seems to be losing his battle. And Lulu I hope I speak for everyone when I say good luck in getting your moms home settled. In the end it will work out. If you got this far, I can't imagine it not going well.
Originally Posted By t1lersm0m LuLu, I'm sorry to hear that your mom wasn't doing well, and wish her a speedy recovery.
Originally Posted By DlandJB Lulu, I can tell you from personal experience that my dad, who resisted going into a retirement community initially, loves it now. He is both the head of the food committee and the community liason to the board of directors. The key is to get involved. What did it for him was finding a place where they all take at least one meal together. I thought he would hate the idea, but he hates cooking and loves gossip, so he took to it quickly. Look for a place where there is an opportunity to get involved. He does still occasionally refer to it as "The Home" or "The Funny Farm" but he does love it there.
Originally Posted By JohnS1 You're a very strong and wonderful lady, Lulu. I remember sensing your exuberance about life the very first time I read a message from you at one place or another on this site. It sounds as though perhaps the worst is over. Stay strong and positive and the enthusiastic person you obviously are! All these traits will serve you well! John
Originally Posted By LuLu avro, t1mom, JB and John, thanks so much for your encouragement! We did have some setbacks today, but overall things are getting better. LPers are the best!
Originally Posted By LuLu Oh, and John - since I was on our library website, I looked up your book. Not only do we carry it, but it's *checked out!* How cool is that?
Originally Posted By Mary Poppins I'm glad to hear the positive news about your mom, Lulu! I hope her recovery continues to progress well - your family is in my prayers.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 I'm really glad that you and your sister have been able to talk your mom out of going home by herself. I'm sure that all will be fine once she is settled in. Thank you for letting us know how you all are doing. My mom just went for her one year after surgery colonoscopy and all is well. I'll keep your mom in my thoughts that her recovery goes well and one year from now she will have the same "whew" feeling as my mom.
Originally Posted By TDLFAN Oh dear...I just ran into this topic LuLu...my best wishes to you and mom.
Originally Posted By Lisann22 Glad things are going in a positive direction Lulu, you guys continue to be in my thoughts.
Originally Posted By LuLu Thanks TDL and all. The hardest thing is having no idea when to plan a trip now... we went from pushing it back 2 weeks because they said to expect a minimum of that time in the secondary hospital (like rehab), to me expecting to leave tomorrow because one Dr told my sis Mom would NOT be eligible for ANY rehab! Ugh! Now, pending any further complications, Mom is to be released to a secondary hospital tomorrow, where they expect her to stay at least 2 weeks, so I'm sticking with my plan of flying out Feb 4 for now. Mom is in poor spirits since sis's last day is tomorrow :-(
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 So glad that they are having your mom go to rehab. With my mom, my sister was told that was where my mom would go and then before we knew it she was released to go home. We are wiser now and would try harder for that rehab. She will be released a much stronger woman. I think it's good that you are continuing with your plans. Your mom can work at her recovery and then have your visit to look forward to. Hopefully some of her depression that you mentioned earlier will also be addressed in rehab.
Originally Posted By smedley LuLu, just checking in to say I hope your mum's recovery is continuing at pace. Sending positive thoughts for the best outcome
Originally Posted By LuLu WooHoo! Just heard from my Mom. She wasn't released to the secondary hospital til Friday, and I've been wondering how long she'd be there - everyone saying 2 to 3 weeks, me wondering if I should book alternate flights, ugh! It now looks like she could be released Friday! My reservation is for Saturday, which was a wild guess 2 weeks ago, and also the first day that worked for me and family obligations here. Mom couldn't talk long as she was off to the gym! but she'll see if she can stay til Saturday. She seems in good health, the main issue is some machine she's hooked up that helps heal her wound, but they'd told her that many patients take those home to continue the healing. Her spirits have also sounded good - she's been taking Zoloft for a couple weeks now. For this visit, I'll be spending a week helping her decide what to take to her new apartment and setting it up. Next visit for the clean-out will have to wait til April or May when DD is driving and I don't have to worry about how DD will get around. It's such a relief to have something semi-resolved!
