Originally Posted By melekalikimaka "Can I refill your eggnog for ya? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?"
Originally Posted By Jafar30 For the world of sports and entertainment. "I'm really excited to make this decision. I'm a guy who believes strongly in education, and this decision was based strongly in academics." -- Myron Rolle, after committing to Florida State "That bullet is a tribal mark, orientation, something we all gotta get sometimes -- just as long as we don't die, it's fine." -- Rapper Petey Pablo discussing the Suge Knight shooting. "I got cast because I did a good job. I was the actress they wanted. They didn't hire me cause they thought, 'Oh, you're hot.'" -- Jessica Alba explaining why she was cast for the role of a scantily-clad stripper in "Sin City" "I felt like the 'P' was coming between me and my fans. We had to simplify it. It was, you know, during concerts and half the crowd saying 'P. Diddy' and half the crowd chanting 'Diddy.' Now everybody can just chant 'Diddy.'" -- Rapper Sean Combs explaining why he now wants to be called "Diddy" instead of "P. Diddy" "If you throw at someone's head, it's very dangerous, because in the head is the brain." -- Pudge Rodriguez to AM 1270 WXYT in Detroit. "The sun has been there for 500, 600 years ... " -- Mets outfielder Mike Cameron, after teammate Carlos Beltran lost a ball in the sun against the Dodgers "They always put the smart guys out in right field. That's where I used to play." -- Jose Canseco on where "Surreal Life" castmember Bronson Pinchot would play if he was on a baseball team "You're not going to play for me if you don't put out." -- Mets manager Willie Randolph
Originally Posted By Jafar30 "A completely magical bend of enchanting scents and flavors, with a hint of cupcakes." -- Britney Spears on her new fragrance "Fantasy Britney Spears"
Originally Posted By Jafar30 "If you see a souped-up street-racing Fast and the Furious style Honda Civic driving down the street, there's about a 99% chance one of my people is driving the car." My Asian friend after we were walking back from lunch during work
Originally Posted By markcanada "In the battle between you and the world . . . bet on the world." (Sign on my office).
Originally Posted By Jafar30 "Oh no. None of that. Sex? What are you talking about? That's crazy. Look man, I'm engaged. That would put me in trouble." -- Viking Mewelde Moore when questioned about the activities on the boats several Vikings players chartered. "Every time that I have ever tried to help a woman out, I have been incarcerated." -- Jose Canseco on "The Surreal Life" "It was another 'Nip/Tuck' game, which you can see on FOX, and now we're heading back to 'The OC' which you can also see on FOX." -- Chris Myers closing out his postgame report after Wednesday's White Sox-Angels game "I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes." -- Marcus Camby (who will make $7.15 million this season) on the NBA invoking a new dress code "This is my first summer [with] no trouble. I ain't go to jail for speeding. Didn't go to jail for DUI. I didn't break my foot. I didn't break my other foot. I'm one step ahead of the game already." -- Kwame Brown "Bud Light." -- St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Chris Carpenter when asked to name his favorite pitcher. "Half is not enough protection, half is my fault and half is them just doing a good job. I know it's 150 percent, but I'm a little tired now." -- Marc Bulger "I'm very rarely beyond words, and I am right now." -- John O'Hurley after learning he had won his rematch against Kelly Monaco on "Dancing with the Stars."
Originally Posted By DDMAN26 "My prediction is that y'all gonna hate on the style we create, straight 2008." -- Kevin Federline on his upcoming rap album
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka "K.Fed is right. I do hate the style he created. I pretty much hate everything he friggin' does." -me
Originally Posted By BurtonsSeattleSally "If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rattrap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him." -Jack Handy
Originally Posted By DDMAN26 "Early Saturday morning driving over a hill on a semi-busy street in my hometown of Montclair, I came upon four deer traveling east, side by side, on a two-lane road. I slowed and nearly stopped. They walked for maybe 100 yards until the one on the left looked over his shoulder at my car. Then they all hopped a low fence into some woods." Sports Illustrated NFL writer Peter King obviously talking about football.
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka From The Modern Drunkard: A Handbook for Drinking in the 21st Century (a Christmas present from the infamous MissCandice) Chapter 2: Buzzwords for Boozeheads "Fugly Bus": n, the mysterious bus that whisks away all ugly people from the bar and replaces them with their beautiful cousins; usually arrives after your 10th drink
Originally Posted By disneyfreaksk "All deck on hands." Captain Jack Sparrow Pirates of the Caribbean, Deadman's Chest.
Originally Posted By Boardwalkbum Fifteen men on a dead man's chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike The bosun brained by a marlinspike And cookey's throat was marked belike It had been gripped by fingers ten; And there they lay, all good dead men Like break o'day in a boozing ken Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.... It only gets more unpleasent.....(shudder)
Originally Posted By DDMAN26 "They should have focused more on me." -- Sebastian Telfair of the Portland Trailblazers, giving his opinion of the ESPN documentary about ... him.
