Originally Posted By BlazesOfFire "Everything I want in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening." ^I bought a candy dish that says that "Life's a garden...dig it" <---I just thought that was so funny from Joe Dirt!
Originally Posted By ReadingMom "We may not have it all together but together we have it all." I've seen this on several items over the past several years. We have a pillow in our living room with this stitched on it.
Originally Posted By Labuda "All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Vonnegut
Originally Posted By ReadingMom Just now my 12 year old son asked me..."Why do people drive on parkways and park on driveways?"
Originally Posted By ReadingMom <<Wow, is he a fan of Carlin, ReadingMom?>> LOL..I think he heard it from one of the boys at camp last week. It's one of those things that they joked about all week long.
Originally Posted By DAR So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. Bushwood Groundskeeper Carl Spackler on his experiences with the Dali Lama.
Originally Posted By lesmisfan "no day but today." Rent "To love another person is to see the face of god." Les Miseralbes
Originally Posted By alexbook "Author's note: Some of the names and identifying characteristics have been changed. Although these are all true stories, some of the dialogue has been recreated, based on my memory of the incidents." --Hillary Carlip, "Queen of the Oddballs and Other True Stories from a Life Unaccording to Plan"
Originally Posted By alexbook "Jack said nothing. It was time to start putting his plan into action. Then he remembered: He didn't have one." --Jasper Fforde, "The Fourth Bear"
Originally Posted By DAR "Voilà ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
