Originally Posted By iamsally Where to start? It really started on Thanksgiving when she tried to palm off her *free* turkey on me for Christmas dinner. I told her I already had a turkey in the freezer. Then, just about a week before Christmas she called to see what we were doing and let us know that she would be alone. We honestly did not know what we would be doing as we were waiting for the daughter in Seattle to decide if they were coming. (They didn't.) Anywho..........as it turned out; our son and DIL asked if they could come on Christmas Eve as they were going to her family Christmas Day. So we planned our family Christmas dinner for Christmas Eve. I told Rod he could ask her to come Christmas Eve (I am not as vindictive as some people think.) but that was as far as I would go. So, she asks what she can bring. I tell him to tell her to get some sparkling cider. A pretty safe request. THEN he tells me that he told her to make John really happy she could bring him her recipe for Poor Man's Plum Pudding. I screeched, "Are you mad!!???!! Now she will bring it for the whole family! And you and John are the only ones who like it and you cannot eat it anymore." This is some gelatinous muck that she steams in coffee cans and then spoons boxed pudding with vile spices in it over the top. I can remember my kids getting all excited at Christmas when she would ask them if they wanted *pudding* and then being thunderstruck at the sight, smell and taste of this stuff. To make matters worse; she would always spoon up huge servings of it and pass it out to everyone whether they wanted it or not. Sure enough, she shows up with not one, but two decorative cans of the stuff. These cans are not meant to be baked in and I shudder to think what they may be coated with. And John and his girl are even pickier about what and how they eat than we are. And she asks John to fix the sauce. Not only does she hand him a box of pudding but premeasured spices and a baggie of premeasured powdered milk. (YUCK) I make a wonderful scratch pudding that may have made this edible. Now, John is a gourmet chef and just could not bring himself to use powdered milk so I offered fresh milk. Then he got into my cupboards and found some spices and other things to add. Wow. This is getting rediculously long but this background is necessary to understand what happened later. (Remember, I have been dealing with this stuff nearly every Christmas for 41 years. Can't tell you how much of it has found its way quietly to the garbage can.) After dinner when we were all just sitting around talking she tells John, "Get some bowls and spoon up the Poor Man's Plum Pudding for everyone." Now she KNOWS that most of us don't or can't eat it. Seeing as how this is MY house and I am the hostess, not her, I stated very firmly, "No John, just put the bowls down next to it and let whoever wants some take some." There were four other desserts to chose from. So I am sitting there when I hear her turn to Rod and order him to, "Spoon some of that into a bowl for yourself and get me some too." I turned to my daughter a said an expitive that I cannot type here. He is 60 years old and his mother is still trying to pick out his dessert for him! I have to commend him for telling her that he could not eat it as it has wheat in it. To my surprise, we did not get treated to the gluten lecture. Though she did turn to John and say, "What will it be next?" Next installment: Why isn't there turkey? I have one in my freezer.
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka I think I threw up a little in my mouth at the idea of poor mans plum pudding. Gag.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 Oh, I can feel the steam coming off your head when you heard what Rod asked his mother to bring!! SO like a guy to not understand the nuances of holidays with the fam. Oh my gosh what an annoying woman. Virtual hugs are coming your way for having to deal with her all these years.
Originally Posted By iamsally >>>I think I threw up a little in my mouth at the idea of poor mans plum pudding.<<< I can throw up for real just thinking about it.
Originally Posted By DlandDug But sometimes you do need to give... explicit... instructions. Actually, I prefer to do things myself. Back when I was in grad school, we would frequently have parties, and everyone was expected to contribute some kind of food, despite the fact that none of us had any money to speak of. One of my go-to menu items was cheese and crackers. On the way to the party, I would pick up a big slab of bargain cheese and a box of house-brand crackers. The first stop would be the host's kitchen, where I would grab a plate and a knife, thinly slice the cheese, fan the slices around the perimeter of the plate, and dump the crackers in the middle. Rachel Ray it ain't, but it was cheap, went far, and looked pretty decent on the table. One Saturday I arrived, headed for the kitchen, and was met by a young lady who had apparently never heard of the women's movement. She pulled the cheese and crackers from my hands and pushing me away firmly said, "Let the women take care of this!" About five minutes later I was thunderstruck to see a plate holding about five big chunks of hacked-up cheese and an unopened box of crackers appear on the table. Bon appetit!
Originally Posted By iamsally Good story Doug! >>>> I would grab a plate and a knife, thinly slice the cheese, fan the slices around the perimeter of the plate, and dump the crackers in the middle<<<< Well........presentation is half the battle.
Originally Posted By iamsally >>>Presentation is EVERYTHING!<<< Maybe that is the problem with the Poor Man's Plum Pudding. If she had just been able to make it *prettier* LOL
Originally Posted By ksargen Does anyone else see a Semi Homemade Kwanza cake like disaster here? Look out world - apple pie filling and corn nuts, coming to a prepackaged cake near you. Blech!
