Originally Posted By bloona lol.......behave! why does this topic keep trying to get rude?...lol, didnt the green gunge put you all off for life? Ursula, you've not heard our birth stories yet! breastfeeding in public totally naked wouldnt come close to the things you do then, and dont care less!!......or was that just me? One foot on my dh's shoulder the other on the midwifes shoulder, turning red and vomitting at the same time! worse yet; my mascara smudged!......lol Worth every second of shame though.
Originally Posted By Kimrue <<And, seriously, Kimrue and trailsend, I can't believe how broadly you're generalizing.>> I57, I know it sounds bad...but my mellow drama was written for those who really *don't* know what it's like to deal with a young child. Some saw my little one as a "brat" and me as a "bad mom," not knowing or caring that she was petrified to get on the plane, nor did they care. <<1. I was about 12, and this one 'mother' at church would sit in the hallway of the 'kids section', yell "come here andrew!" while holding her shirt up, and her three year old would run up to her. Uh, not pretty and us pre-teens were pretty much horrified every time. And she did it EVERY sunday and EVERY friday for years.>> Where the hec do you live????????
Originally Posted By beamerdog >>Sadly, it will have to be reduced to Inap.Nu.Ap.<< Very very funny ;-) Well, there clearly are only two sides to this discussion. First off, Jafar, you were perfectly okay with walking away. Second, I'm diabetic, have to take insulin before every meal and sometimes find myself in the same situation. Bathrooms can be disgustingly dirty and I try to avoid them. Lots of places have first aid stations or securtiy areas that are private and clean. I've even had stores let me go into stockrooms to shoot up (yes there usually is a place to sit). I feel that it's a matter of not wanting to be inconvenienced. I do understand that sometimes you just can't find a suitable place. DH and my friends are amazed when I can take insulin in a restaurant at the table (facing away from everyone and usually in a booth with a friend's body providing a screen) and they can't tell what I'm doing. But I always ask first. Nicely and not in a hostile way. Like, not: this is the ONLY place that I can do it. Now, all of those who breastfed: There are still a lot of us who didn't for many reasons. Both my kids were premature and couldn't suck. So bottle feeding was the only way. Kimrue, I've been in that situation a million times. It wasn't always a choice to pop a bottle into a mouth to calm down a baby. And at two, I wasn't toting a bottle. So we had to use other methods - holding, soothing sounds, rocking - all things that I'm sure you've used, too. And sometimes, they did scream for a bit and people either smiled, ignored them or got annoyed. Couldn't help it. One of my kids had the most beautiful red hair that enticed so many women to touch it and wake him out of a deep sleep, lol. It just seems like for those of you who do breastfeed and have a screaming baby, it's the easy way and most convenient way to stop the screaming. And, to vent about the La Leche league. I had *two* counselors who were militant and hostile when I was unable to feed my first son who was 8 weeks early and had no sucking reflex. They told me that I wasn't persistent and patient enough. LOL! Tell that to my family! They left and never came back when I called them. Thank goodness for my understanding GYN doc. I had an electric pump for almost two months. Talk about being patient and persistent with something that definitely wasn't pleasant. Okay, sorry about TMI ;-) Also, let me tell you that there *are* inappropriate places to breastfeed. Like in an attorney's office at the conference table during a settlement in front of 10 people trying to pay attention to what's going on. Although you say it shouldn't be, the fact is that it was distracting to most of the clients and attorneys in there. I'm not against breastfeeding in public and skin doesn't bother me, but at least in the society that we live in there are an awful lot of people who are surprised by the amount of skin shown. That includes the people who feel that, in places other than the beach, there is a little too much skin exposed mostly in the clothes we're wearing (or not). Okay on a teenager, but on the older crowd... And I don't get the attitude that since *I* think something's okay, then everyone else should. Let's have some consideration on both sides
Originally Posted By MrToadWildRider >>MrToadWildRider wrote: <<>>Toad, (and everyone else who feels that public breastfeeding is disgusting)<< That's from post 48 - I never once said or hinted at it being "Disgusting">> and then also wrote: <<You said it's rude and no one wants to see it - exactlly no one (well mostly no one maybe) wants to see some woman pulling her engorged breast out and having their kid suck on her nipple the same as you don't want to see someone eating with their mouth open. They SHOULDN'T be exposing you to them eating disgustingly.>>> 'Nuff said.<< Did you even read my post? It was people who said eating with your mouth open is "Disgusting" and that's what I was talking about when I said "Eating disgustingly" Don't post if you don't read. Thanks.
Originally Posted By Kimrue <<Did you even read my post? It was people who said eating with your mouth open is "Disgusting" and that's what I was talking about when I said "Eating disgustingly" Don't post if you don't read. Thanks.>> yes, but you were comparing it to a rather graphic, warped, description of a mother preparing to nurse her child....
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA Kimrue, we understand that you're a proponent of breast feeding. We totally understand. I was a breast fed kid. Even so, there are going to be some people who want to be around a woman who is breast feeding. And while they may find the concept of breast feeding a beautiful wonderful thing, they don't want to be around when it's happening. Kind of like child birthing. It's a wonderful beautiful thing, but I don't think every man on the planet wants to participate in it.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer If someone is uncomfortable around a woman who is nursing her child, why would it be the woman's actions that are inappropriate? Why don't they just own their own discomfort?
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA I agree with you, Tom Sawyer. Better to just say 'I don't like sitting next to a woman in the Mall who is breast feeding her baby' than to try and make it the woman's 'fault.'
Originally Posted By MrToadWildRider Because in our society it is the person who is doing something discomforting to "Own it" Why should someone who is uncomfortable to something be subjected to it? I personally don't really get uncomfortable when I see it but I think it's wrong to assume everyone around will be. I don't see what the big deal is with covering up a little. <<yes, but you were comparing it to a rather graphic, warped, description of a mother preparing to nurse her child.... >> How so? I don't like having my words twisted or having them put in my mouth thank you very much. A breast that is full of milk is referred to as "Engorged" -that is the actual adjective used by people in medicine and people who deal with expectant mothers -is that warped? Give me a break. Do they not take out their breast to feed? I fail to see how saying a woman taking out her engorged breast to feed her child is a "Warped" description? And "graphic"? That's exactly what birthing a child is if you make no effort to cover up so thanks for pointing out the point I was trying to make. People who have been saying there was nothing inappropriate about a woman not making an attempt at covering up in a public place have also voiced how they find it wrong and unappealing when people chew with their mouths open in public and my question is wouldn't you like them to stop? I don't think it's too much to ask that when you're in public to chew with your mouth closed nor to drape a cloth over your breast as you feed. The argument "Well other people do inappropriate things so why can't I" is just juvenile and it's the mentality that just facilitates inappropriate behavior in our society. If everyone was just a little bit more considerate of people other than themselves while in public the world be a better place.
Originally Posted By MrToadWildRider note that should read "That's exactly what nursing a child is if you make no effort to cover up so thanks for pointing out the point I was trying to make." not "Birthing a child" - although that'd be true too.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan Let's turn this around a little. A woman is sitting on a bench in the mall breastfeeding her infant, not covering up at all because this is simply an act of feeding a child, and it's just a breast and the world needs to get over it already. Now a man who thinks this is a beautiful thing walks over and sits down next to her on the bench, tries to strike up a conversation. Wouldn't that seem a little wierd? Uncomfortable? A little invasive?
Originally Posted By TomSawyer >>Why should someone who is uncomfortable to something be subjected to it? << They can move. They can not look. No one is tying you down and holding your eyelids open and telling you to watch. Just because I find a particular thing objectionable doesn't mean that I have the right to force everyone else to abide by my personal standards.
Originally Posted By Jim in Merced CA ^^^excellent point, Kar2oonMan. But you're generally known for your excellent points...
Originally Posted By scottie I've been thinking the same thing, Tom Sawyer. Jafar did the right thing by giving up the bench. "Couldn't she have done something to make it less uncomfortable for me?" I can't see the modesty in that either.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer Probably depends on the man and what he was saying, 2oony. If it was someone like Crispin Glover talking about how much he likes breastfeeding, it would be weird. If it was someone like Sean Connery who sat down and made the mother laugh with a joke then it may be a welcome conversation. I do think there's a difference between an active attempt to strike up a conversation with any stranger or just sitting next to them on a bench, though.
Originally Posted By scottie Kar2oonMan- For some reason I was picturing your post as a set up for Punk'd or Girls behaving badly or any hidden camera show. The whole nursing thing and peoples reactions would be pretty funny. I know I'm sick.
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>If it was someone like Crispin Glover talking about how much he likes breastfeeding, it would be weird.<< LOL! And you're giving Sean Connery a pass? The man was 007! It's all he ever thought about!
Originally Posted By MrToadWildRider Because you're making them move from where they were because you're going to be that inconsiderate is enough reason for me to say that "Well YOU can always move" argument is wrong. Jafar shouldn't have had to move, she should've been CONSIDERATE and covered up a little. You'll probably say the considerate thing is what happened and him getting up and leaving but's that not right. It was very considerate of him to do so, but she should've been the one keeping others in mind first. You're expecting people to move if they don't like it - that's pretty rude. People used to have that argument for smokers - if you don't like the smoke when someone lights up near you then YOU can leave - that is plain rude.
Originally Posted By Jafar30 So should I have said in my best Sean Connery voice "shay that's a lovely child"?
