Topic Murderers

Originally Posted By friendofdd

For people who like peace and quiet:

a phoneless cord.

 

Originally Posted By Darkbeer

Life is good, Dodgers suck,lost two in a row, including being shut out tonight... :

Padres win the second game in a row, tonight a 8-6 win ;0

GO PADRES!!!

GO DUCKS!!!

DODGERS SUCK!!!

860 bottles of beer on the wall
860 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
859 bottles of beer on the wall

 

Originally Posted By friendofdd

Everyone knows the king of the beasts has sharp claws.
It should be obvious - like any other cat, he has lion knives.

 

Originally Posted By MissCandice

Uh-huh.

 

Originally Posted By friendofdd

MissC, is that skepticism?

Lion knives. A pun and spoonerism for nine lives.

 

Originally Posted By Darkbeer

GO PADRES!!!

GO DUCKS!!!

DODGERS SUCK!!!

859 bottles of beer on the wall
859 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
858 bottles of beer on the wall

 

Originally Posted By LVCajun

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, or George or Bill Bailey -
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover -
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

 

Originally Posted By LVCajun

The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:
If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.
If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,
If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.
If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,
If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.
Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -
And there isn't any call for me to shout it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore:
When you let him in, then he wants to be out;
He's always on the wrong side of every door,
And as soon as he's at home, then he'd like to get about.
He likes to lie in the bureau drawer,
But he makes such a fuss if he can't get out.
Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -
And there isn't any call for you to doubt it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast:
His disobliging ways are a matter of habit.
If you offer him fish then he always wants a feast;
When there isn't any fish then he won't eat rabbit.
If you offer him cream then he sniffs and sneers,
For he only likes what he finds for himself;
So you'll catch him in it right up to the ears,
If you put it away on the larder shelf.
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing,
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle;
But he'll leap on your lap in the middle of your sewing,
For there's nothing he enjoys like a horrible muddle.
Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -
And there isn't any call for me to spout it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

 

Originally Posted By friendofdd

Beautiful and eloquently spoken trubutes to cats.

Thank you.

 

Originally Posted By FaMulan

LVCajun's been reading
"Old Possums' Book of Practical Cats" by TS Elliot.

 

Originally Posted By friendofdd

A dentist's patient declined to use novocain. ...

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

 

Originally Posted By MissCandice

Ok,whats the acronym for giggled in my head? GIMH? Anyhoo, I GIMH on that one.

 

Originally Posted By Darkbeer

GO PADRES!!!

GO DUCKS!!!

DODGERS SUCK!!!

858 bottles of beer on the wall
858 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
857 bottles of beer on the wall

 

Originally Posted By FaMulan

The Ducks are gonna need help to pull off winning the Stanley Cup!

 

Originally Posted By Darkbeer

GO PADRES!!!

GO DUCKS!!!

DODGERS SUCK!!!

857 bottles of beer on the wall
857 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
856 bottles of beer on the wall

 

Originally Posted By disneygirl77

Of course you realize if the Ducks win, Eisner will just sell them at bargain basement prices.

 

Originally Posted By Darkbeer

GO PADRES!!!

GO DUCKS!!!

DODGERS SUCK!!!

856 bottles of beer on the wall
856 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
855 bottles of beer on the wall

 

Originally Posted By friendofdd

^ ^
o o
>
0

 

Originally Posted By Darkbeer

GO PADRES!!!

GO DUCKS!!!

RAIDERS SUCK!!!

855 bottles of beer on the wall
855 bottles of beer
Take one down
Pass it around
854 bottles of beer on the wall

 

Originally Posted By LVCajun

<<LVCajun's been reading
"Old Possums' Book of Practical Cats" by TS Elliot>>

TS Who??? Whoa Whoa Whoa. If there is someone out there claiming my work I need to know about it. I'll sue you just wait and see. It's hard enough developing a broadway show without the added chore of dealing with a low-down dirty plagiarizer.

;P