Originally Posted By vbdad55 I totally understand. My oldest graduates in May, but still has to do her semester of student teaching in the Fall before being hired. She is going to live at home for that and plans to stay here for approx 2 years also as she pays off the small student loans she has as well as saves to buy a townhouse in the area. We are also thrilled as is her little sister who is only 12 and misses her Big Sis. If you would have asked me this question when she was a junior - senior in HS I might have been cringing, but they grow up a heck of a lot in college and she is a pleasure to have around. btw - a number of her friends from the area plan the same thing. Most want to live in the area where they grew up and let's face it, the cheapest townhome in the area is still close to $250 - $300K, so she will need to save some serious coinage for a down pay.
Originally Posted By amazedncal2 ^^If you would have asked me this question when she was a junior - senior in HS I might have been cringing, but they grow up a heck of a lot in college and she is a pleasure to have around. So true vbdad55
Originally Posted By avromark <<^ ^ ^ *ahem* I mean we sleep with our TV loud too.... >> It's just that since Chris has such a large roof everytime the stork gets lost, the stork ends up at his house
Originally Posted By sherrytodd It sounds like your daughter is a wonderful woman. I don't think there is anything wrong with enjoying having her around. Soon enough she will have her own life and family. Enjoy every minute you have with her. As far as people commenting to her at work. She's got great plans and a wonderful family who's willing to help her make them happen. There's nothing wrong with that. BTW - We meet your criteria, though even though my husband and son wear them I don't know if boxers will work for me. Can we move in? We can talk like that, eh. You betcha.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer If people make comments to her at work, she should ask them if they want to compare bank accounts.
Originally Posted By Ursula Yeah, I'm thinking the people at work either have lousy relationships with their parents or they are jealous that she has it so good to be able to stay at home and properly save to start her life out well. I stayed at home until my mid to late 20's, so there.
Originally Posted By TomSawyer By the way, RT, does the second part of your topic title really have anything to do with the first part?
Originally Posted By Kennesaw Tom To answer your original question. You may be nuts. But not for enjoying your daughter living at home <smile>.
Originally Posted By dltraveler You aren't nuts. At least I hope not, because that would mean my parents and I were nuts too. After I graduated with my masters, I also lived with my parents for a year to save money before I got married. It was a huge help and because of it, my husband and I started off on firm financial footing when otherwise we likely would have struggled. I did get some rude inquiries, but mostly people understood the "saving for a house" thing.
Originally Posted By DVC_dad <<< the cheapest townhome in the area is still close to $250 - $300K, so she will need to save some serious coinage for a down pay.>>> bah! vbdad , now you know you Medinah Country Clubbers can swing that on a bad quarter!
Originally Posted By RAM1984 I would love to hear your opinions (even though it won't change what we are doing!!). Well, our 31yo lives with us. That is the only way he can go to UOP without taking out loans. We enjoy having him here and since we travel a lot there is always someone here to feed and care for our many animals. So, guess what my opinion is. As for the test. 1) Gotta be employed full time. Since he is in school full time all we ask is his work study job. 2) No use of illegal drugs. He won't even hang out with his brothers if they are stoned. 3) Don't drink more alcohol than we do. He has never had a drink. 4) Never keep us awake at night. He is so exhausted from work and school that he is in bed before us. 5) You have to participate in our family dinners. He does when he is home early enough. 6) Our driveway has enough cars already; you'll have to park in the street. He uses the bus. 7) This is kind of personal, but you really do have to wear boxer briefs. Regular briefs are just too 80’s. He hasn't let me see him in his underwear since he was 10. 8) Provide us with some amusement. If we're gonna house you, you have to make us laugh! He has spent this afternoon reading "Anguished English" to us. Very funny stuff. 9) Our daughter? Off limits. She’s spoken for. Don’t even THINK about her. Well, he's single and up for grabs. 10) Those sounds from our bedroom next door? You really didn't hear them. ;-) Our bedroom is at the other end of the house. He also pays token rent and helps with the food bill. Good luck to you and your family. I feel sorry for families who are not close. Oh, and BTW, we threw out one of our sons at 19 because he just could not adhere to the simple rules we set down. We like to help but we are not suckers.
Originally Posted By trailsend I think this is wonderful. Who cares what anyone else thinks. You all are obviously happy. That's all that matters. Saving money is smart. I'm just upset because VCR said hell.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost I'd like to wade in on this but before I do I must make clear that what I am about to say is just the way I feel about things. I am not, in any way, manner, shape or form criticizing anyone for the way they chose to do things. My daughters, whom I might add, mean the world to me, wanted to do the same thing after college. I didn't mind them being there but somewhere in my distorted mind I felt that my job as a parent was to teach them how to survive on their own. My letting them stay at home, at no charge, while they saved money really wasn't reminiscent of the real world. Maybe it was just me but no one ever gave me anything. Whatever I got in life was worked for and earned. I didn't come from wealthy or well to do parents so I had to take charge of my life and pay my way. No little cushion to start out with to make life easier. I certainly can understand why a child would want to have that ability but to build there own future at the cost of mine just was not acceptable. I was always there as a "safety net" but I was the net of last resort. I expected them to use their extremely high cost education to be the "safety net" they went out into the world with. They always knew, and still do for that matter, that I would never let them sink lower than they could handle. I would be there for them if the need were great enough. You know what? They never needed my financial support. They made their own way and are proud of it. So to some degree I agree but with provisions. Yes, I was responsible for their existence (at least 50%) but they were going to have to make it without me to shore up there finances. That was up to them. I raised them, clothed them, feed them and nurtured them for nearly 21 years, it was time to push the nestlings from the nest and let them fly. They have done amazing things, they have far exceeded anything I ever have done and they did it independent of my material support. I am so proud of them that sometimes I think I might burst. They are my life and my joy and no one could love anyone more then I do these fine young ladies. Everyone needs to find their own way of being there for their children. I felt I found mine and the proof is visible everyday.
Originally Posted By JazzCat I know this has all been said, but if it works for all of you then it shouldn't matter what other people say. My sister lived with us for nearly two years and we enjoyed it very much. She paid rent and bought her own food. If she "borrowed" any of our food she would always buy more to replace it.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<Everyone needs to find their own way of being there for their children. I felt I found mine and the proof is visible everyday.>> I agree. Different things work for different people. My wife’s parents raised six kids on the salary of a janitor working for a catholic school. They weren’t able to give their kids much more than love, but they gave them plenty of that. They all turned out just fine. <<I certainly can understand why a child would want to have that ability but to build there own future at the cost of mine just was not acceptable.>> We are fortunate to be in the position that what we give her has no impact on our future. We don't charge her for groceries or utilities or anything. We even pay for her meals at restaurants when we all go out to eat. I'm grateful that we are in a position to do that, and there is nothing I would rather spend my money on. I figure either I give to my children while I'm alive or they inherit it when I'm dead. My preference is to be able to watch them enjoy it while I'm alive. If my daughter was not working, or was working at a job considerably below her potential I would probably feel differently. If I saw her spending her money on partying or more clothes than she needed I would probably feel differently. But once her few bills are paid, virtually everything goes in to savings. In my daughter's chosen field (library science) it is impossible to get a professional position without a Masters degree. She needs the degree and I don't want her to be facing a mountain of debt when she gets out of school.
Originally Posted By Liberty Belle I totally relate to this one. I'm 23 and I live with my parents. I have had ALL sorts of comments - last week, a workmate's boyfriend came into work and basically abused me for "hassling" my parents by living with them. I pay board, I'll often buy them dinner, I respect their rules, I work full-time, study part-time and quite frankly, mum and dad LOVE having me here. My sister calls us 'the triplets' because we like to do things together. My reasons for living at home? I'm saving up for my own house and I enjoy living with my parents. I'm single and if I moved out I'd be living alone, so I'd rather have company. Obviously in the next couple of years I'll be moving out so I have a space of my own, but in the meantime I think if we're happy, it doesn't really matter what other people say.
Originally Posted By RoadTrip <<mum and dad LOVE having me here. My sister calls us 'the triplets' because we like to do things together.>> Same with us. We both really enjoy being with our daughter, and she enjoys being with us. She has a boyfriend she’s been with for two years and she gets together with a couple of girl friends from high school at least once every couple of weeks, so it’s not like she isn’t able to meet people and function on her own. But she also doesn’t have anyone else she wants to live with right now and she prefers not living alone.
Originally Posted By davewasbaloo "My daughters, whom I might add, mean the world to me, wanted to do the same thing after college. I didn't mind them being there but somewhere in my distorted mind I felt that my job as a parent was to teach them how to survive on their own. My letting them stay at home, at no charge, while they saved money really wasn't reminiscent of the real world. Maybe it was just me but no one ever gave me anything. Whatever I got in life was worked for and earned. I didn't come from wealthy or well to do parents so I had to take charge of my life and pay my way. No little cushion to start out with to make life easier." Goofyernmost - I know what you are saying. I put myself through college, and I paid my parents rent from the age of 14 (token percentage of my salary). I felt a little hard done by as a kid for this, but actually, they did me a huge favour. I could stand on my own two feet. I stopped financially relying on them at 18, but they were always there for me in other ways. I bought my own car, found my 1st appartment,and so many other things. It meant professionally, I got a jump start too - heading up a $8 million training unit for the UK's number one Government Application vendor with a team of 22 working for me, at the age of 24. I feel my parents really helped me this way. However, they popped a number of surprises on me too. They helped with my wedding and carpeted our 1st house for us - some of the money was the rent I gave them over the years. So, I think I might follow suit with my own kids. But different things work for different people.
Originally Posted By Goofyernmost One of my little return gifts is taking them completely by surprise. I informed everyone that they, their husbands and their children are my guest for a family gathering at WDW in February 2008. I already bought the tickets just hours before the last price increase and I am renting a 7 bedroom villa and have airfare covered. That is part of the inheritance that I plan to witness as opposed to just leaving behind. Can't wait.
