Originally Posted By chickendumpling I think I already said that that dog barking song is probably my least fav if I had to pick one but I was wondering if maybe it would be better if it were only sung by.....
Originally Posted By wonderingalice *LOL* Oh yeah... 101 dogs barking "Jingle Bells" would be WAY better. ;-)
Originally Posted By mawnck Anybody besides me remember the Jingle Cats? Their yowling version of "Blue Christmas" has real potential as a Christmas Party Clearer Outer. Horrible and wonderful at the same time.
Originally Posted By jdub I agree, that is a terrible recording. The live acoustic version is FAR superior.
Originally Posted By alexbook Not only do I remember the Jingle Cats, I have their "Meowy Christmas" CD. There's one song where they do a duet with those barking dogs. It ends badly, as you'd expect.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy I gotta say (well, I don't *got* to, but I have the gumption to), I find it odd that "The Little Drummer Boy" is on so many people's Bah Humbug lists of Christmas songs. I like it. <---ducks rotten veggies wrapped in snowballs
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy Okay, so after going back through 108 posts, it turns out that "so many people" = 3. I guess it just jumped out at me cause I'd never heard anyone rag on this song, lol.
Originally Posted By DlandDug Where, oh where to start? You see, I really don't hate any Christmas songs. (Well, yes I do, but I'll cover that later.) But there are so many I really could do without. You see, I collect odd music of all kinds. And since Jamie loves Christmas music, when we combined our collections, we ended up with about 60 or so CDs of Christmas music. So... there's a few real, uh, gems in the mix. Songs I could do without (in no particular order): My Favorite Things (NOT a Christmas song!); Baby, It's Cold Outside (NOT a Christmas song!); I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (NOT a Christmas song!); Santa Claus is Back in Town by Elvis (barely a Christmas song); Cool Yule by Louis Armstrong; O Holy Night by Mahalia Jackson; Absolutely ANY Christmas Song by James Taylor (Mr. Taylor could make Deck the Halls sound earnest and painful); Humbug by The Ventures; Santa Claus is Watchin' You by Ray Stevens; Jingle-O the Brownie (yes, there really is such a horror) by Tennessee Ernie Ford; Santa and the Doodle-Li-Boop (yes, there REALLY is such a horror) by Art Carney; Santa's Laughing Song (aka Santa's Controlled Substance Induced Giggling Fit); Grandma Got Run Over etc. by Elmo and Patsy; A Five Pound Box of Money by Pearl Bailey (Why Eartha can sound sophisticated and naughty singing Santa Baby, while Pearl just sounds desperate and skanky doing this one is beyond me); CHRISTMAS SHOES... Christmas SHOES...Chris... Chris Shoes... that horrific shoe song I JUST HEARD FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS YEAR! So what is it about this ghastly, mawkish, piece of tripe? Is it the earnest country twang of the singer? Is it that said singer is apparently the owner of a shoe store, that is OPEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE? That the song is about a ragged little boy, with a dirty face, apparently clutching a brand new pair of WOMEN'S SHOES??? That the little boy assures the man (the singer/shoe store owner/Ebenezer Scrooge in Hush Puppies) that the shoes are JUST MAMA'S SIZE? That they are also just her style, and will "make her smile?" (She's dying, and SHOES will make her smile? I want the ladies of LP to explain this one to me.) But what carries this maudlin ditty straight into the stratosphere of ghastliness is the observation that Mama hasn't been well for a long time, that Diddy says she can't last much longer, and that THESE SHOES WILL MAKE HER LOOK SO PRETTY IF SHE GOES TO MEET JESUS TONIGHT! YES! Jesus will be looking at your shoes in heaven! Finally, a song for the closeted country music/Christmas narrative songs/sentimental tripe fans everywhere. (Deep breath. Pleasant thoughts. Think of either Mel Torme singing The Christmas Song or Judy singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.) Where was I? Oh yes. Bad Christmas music. There are whole discs that just cry out their badness, and had to be mine. Christmas Rap Music by Crew X; New Wave Christmas (Various Artists); Bummed Out Christmas (Various Artists); Bah! Humbug! (Various Artists); I Am Christmas by Bob Rivers and Twisted Radio; A Really Swell Christmas (Various Artists); and a special word for Blame It on Christmas. This disc is a selection of Christmas favorites, interpreted in various styles. Stand outs are: The Silent Night's Spangled Banner (marching band meets Christmas hymn); The Inexcelsis Polka (anything sounds jolly when played in 3/4 time on a clarinet); The Li'l Endless Summer Boy (should have been covered by The Ventures); Silent Night Walkin' (easily the deepest version you'll ever hear of this Christmas chestnut); AND That Swingin' Manger, in which a Frank Sinatra sound-alike ring-a-ding-dings his way through Away in a Manger. But who needs sound-alikes when there are REAL celebrities willing to release embarrassing tracks? Like... Merry Christmas...Have a Nice Life by Cyndi Lauper; Home for the Holidays with the hosts of the Home Shopping Club (I am not making this up); and NBC Celebrity Christmas, with Sean Hayes and Dave Koz singing The Christmas Song, Wendie Malick murdering Santa Baby, and Jay Leno smirking his way through 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Oh-- and an odd factoid. Joy to the World was written by a man named Isaac Watts, who, for doctrinal reasons, did not celebrate or even acknowledge the Christmas holiday. So who are we to say that My Favorite Things isn't a Christmas song, anyway? (P.S. As promised, the Christmas song I hate? Christmas Shoes, of course. I mean, there's got to be a line drawn SOMEWHERE.)
Originally Posted By Kar2oonMan >>Baby, It's Cold Outside (NOT a Christmas song!); I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (NOT a Christmas song!);<< Technically, no, not Christmas songs. However, they fit in much better with the holiday season than at a beach party in July!
Originally Posted By DlandDug Oh... and to hear some truly dreadful Christmas covers, here is April Winchell's site. Just scroll way down to "Seasonal Favorites," and be aware that some of this material may not be suitable for sensitive ears. <a href="http://www.aprilwinchell.com/multimedia/" target="_blank">http://www.aprilwinchell.com/m ultimedia/</a>
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka <<Home for the Holidays with the hosts of the Home Shopping Club (I am not making this up);>> HAHA, I'm glad someone else knows about this. We died laughing when we saw them hawking it on their channel. (Loved the videos of them singing. LOL) My daughter and I like Cyndi Lauper's Xmas cd. It's fun! I cannot explain "the Christmas Shoes" to you. It's absurd to think that little kid is out roaming the shoe stores alone on Xmas Eve (sounds like some great parenting on the dad's part!)And the line about Jesus just ticks me off because it's beyond cheesy.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy You tell 'im, 2oony! [said in a holiday-spirit sort of way] (and "My Favorite Things", too! Not Christmas per se, but definitely a winter song, and Christmas is in winter---and it mentions brown paper packages tied up with string!)
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy As far as Least Favorite Christmas Album Cover, my vote goes to Bette Midler's Cool Yule. She looks so ridiculous with that giant red wig or whatever the heck she's wearing, and the title itself "Cool Yule" just adds to making the album seem like it has zero credibility as a respectable Christmas album. But I know the cover and title don't speak for the music, and some LPers really dig the album, so it may very well be great. I just would've re-shot the cover and chosen a different title is all.
Originally Posted By melekalikimaka I think the cover is funny. Bette is really quirky. I like her but wasn't really thrilled by her last HBO concert special. But the hat is hilarious. It seems so "Bette" to me. I'm surprised at how mellow her cd is. I really like it.
Originally Posted By TALL Disney Guy Well she's on "Showbiz Tonight" that I'm monitoring right now and she actually had that danged had with her, lol. She's auctioning it off for charity at bettemidler.com, so I can't hate the hat too much. Bah, humbug! ;-)
Originally Posted By DlandJB :::handing DlandDug a paper bag to breathe into::::::::: Feel better, sweetheart? <<Absolutely ANY Christmas Song by James Taylor (Mr. Taylor could make Deck the Halls sound earnest and painful);>> OK, I'll keep that one in the car. I can't help it if I LOVE JT. And nothing says Deck the Halls like James singing "In the Bleak Mid-winter." Seriously, if James Taylor was singing the phone book, I'd buy it.
